First I’m sorry for your past trauma. I second looking into not just regular therapy but something like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or one that a friend of mine with a lot of similar trauma as you has done called Accelerated Resolution Therapy. These teach you how to cope and move past trauma and how to deal with the triggers in your life. Secondly, I’m a older guy and the woman I love has scars, I don’t see the scars as ugly, they are just part of her and I find her beautiful as could be. The scars tell a story and that’s ok. She is still here and alive and those stories written in the scars show the resilience and beauty in overcoming. One day you won’t be ashamed of your scars, so hang in there.