Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jad8f4k wrote on February 28, 2023 at 4:32 PM

Reply to comment by RealVeterinarian6401 in TIFU by cheating on my wife a second time by Odd_Ad_5639

Shared custody is 100% out of the picture. My wife is 100% leaving the country. It is out of my control.

I don’t deserve it but I wish I could come to some sort of arrangement but it won’t happen.

I see the future of my daughter as a separate issue to my sins. I will forever regret what I have done but I love my daughter and I would be able to care for her in my country more than I think my wife could in hers, in her particular circumstances

RealVeterinarian6401 t1_jad93mu wrote on February 28, 2023 at 4:36 PM

after reading a lot of your comments- you need to let her go- and your children go.

your wife is pregnant- her family im guessing is going to provide the support she deserves that she is not getting from you. send money try and stay in contact with your daughter and be supportive and try and maintain whatever relationship you can with your children as they grow.

actions have consequences.

by you taking the child/children your only punishing your wife further for YOUR actions.

Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jad9hve wrote on February 28, 2023 at 4:39 PM

You are right my actions will hurt my wife more. I regret that very much but I am balancing that against the future I think I can provide for my daughter.

It won’t be perfect because of my actions. I wish my wife and I could both be present in her life, but because of me that won’t be possible.

My wife’s family could provide some support but not as much as mine could. All things considered, I think the best environment for my daughter would be with my family

RealVeterinarian6401 t1_jada18o wrote on February 28, 2023 at 4:42 PM

No no no no stop being in your own head and thinking like such a dick. seriously wtf. you fucked up. YOU. YOU DID THIS. you can’t undo this- you are STILL being selfish. you will continue to destroy your wife and family if you do this.

please open your eyes before you say anything to your wife. do not be so selfish.

Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadb1xx wrote on February 28, 2023 at 4:49 PM

I think im putting my daughters needs above my wife’s.

I know it benefits me personally also but that is not my intention (I know you will not believe me).

I hate what im putting my wife through. She definitely does not deserve any of it. I’d do anything to take it back but I can’t

BeckyW77 t1_jaecs1l wrote on February 28, 2023 at 8:48 PM

No, you don't, not really. You are putting your feelings first so once again, you are sacrificing your soon-to-be-ex wife's EVERYTHING you have done and plan to do is ruining your wife. You're just finding pretty rationales to dress it up.

Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jaekufh wrote on February 28, 2023 at 9:39 PM

I’m doing what I think is best for my daughters future. I hate that it’s not aligned with what wife wants and it will hurt her.

I am already the asshole. I can only try and do what I think is best for my daughter

BeckyW77 t1_jaecic6 wrote on February 28, 2023 at 8:46 PM

Dude. You only want to keep your daughter because you're afraid you will miss her. And that's on YOU...for cheating against your wife. Saying your country is better and that you have more money is just you putting your own self-interest first, because it is more important for a parent to be loving and have a close bond. And even with all this vaunted love you have for your daughter, you still blew up your marriage because you had to scratch an itch. You are, RIGHT NOW, unfit to be a decent father.