My mum did this sort of thing until my early 30s, and tbh the reason she stopped doing it is because she passed away. I wish I could say I put down boundaries but it never worked.

An example that sticks out is - I get home from work exhausted. Have a nap on the sofa that lasts longer than planned cause I was so tired. Get woken up by my annoyed lodger because my mum is ringing him asking where I am. They swapped numbers for EMERGENCIES ONLY (eg if anything went wrong with the house and I, his landlady, was unreachable). He was like, I'm not your secretary lol.

She claimed it was an emergency. What, because a 30 yo woman didn't answer her phone for 4 hours on a weeknight?