Stay sober, don't drink that much again. I'm not going to judge you since everyone messes up in life, especially being young, I've also made bad mistakes in my past.

Just think about what you did or might have done, and think about what kind of person you are because of doing so, do it without trying to cover it or make it less bad.

Think about what kind of person you are when you do that, when you are drunk and start doing those wretched things. Now, do you want to be that person? You are now, but you don't have to continue being that person. You can change, by not committing the same mistakes and being better. Getting drunk and acting like that only brings shame and bad feelings, it's not worth it.

Life is like a chess game, you can't undo moves, but you have to try and do the best you can with what you have right now.

Don't let people here on Reddit make you feel bad.

But change, be better, stop drinking, get your shit together.