Not sure if this was late night insomnia/joke or serious depression/mental health struggles…if it’s the former - I would recommend exercise, not eating/drinking after 9pm and trying melatonin if you haven’t already.

If it’s the latter, change your circumstances anyway you can. Crappy job/horrible boss? Quit and take a new job even if it pays less but you’re appreciated. Bad/No social network? Think of something you’re interested in and try joining a club/group or volunteering. Go to the Humane Society or other animal shelters in town and volunteer, join a Lego group etc. And of course talk to someone. The hotline previously mentioned, call the Ozarks Counseling Center etc.

Either way, hope today/tonight is better for you!