arbitrarytrombone t1_jefgmv0 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:58 PM

Reply to comment by BannedOnClubPenguin in Quick Fix? by ShroomHex

I've actually gotten drug screen and BAT certified (not sure if it's still a valid certification or not but whatever) but it's easier to get caught with bringing fakes in. Most places won't give you a second chance if it's a refusal (not offering a donation after being caught with fake urine). I have had good luck with the goofy jell-o as well as a few people I've heard from.

The collectors know what to listen for, urine coming out of a body has a distinct sound, tests have ranged thermometers, they make you empty your pockets, and some screens can be ordered as observed and they don't have to tell you (though that's usually only when you've failed a test before).

My best advice, if the job is important enough that you 100% have to pass, just take a tolerance break.

the_honeyman t1_jeh3y4k wrote on March 31, 2023 at 11:47 PM

So you warm it up beforehand, rubber band some Hot Hands to the bottle, either tape it to your leg or wear baggy pants and be slick about emptying your pockets (nobody is going to pat you down, though they may ask you to turn out your pockets, so taping it to your leg is the way to go), and piss a little in the toilet first if you're that paranoid. No workplace is ordering observed tests, that's the parole system.

You aren't wrong the only 100% way is to take a break more than a month before. But some people have a medical need, and for those people, fake pee is 100% the way to go. Dilution, cleanses, all of that stuff is way more unreliable than sneaking a warmed up bottle of fake pee in.