If there was a specialist in Springfield, even one at a competing hospital, then Cox would have recommended sending your kid to them. If the specialist is in St. Louis than it's highly likely that there is not one of comparable skill in Springfield.

Does Mercy have a similar specialist? Or is your SO just wanting a second opinion? Mercy has a larger footprint than Cox, so they have access to more internal providers as opposed to referring out.

At the end of the day, do what is best for your kid.

Have you talked to your current provider at cox about mercy? Ask if there’s a specialist there or if St. Louis is the only/best option. Don’t be afraid to ask why 🙏🏼 Hope all is well and your family stays healthy and strong.

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You're probably smarter than all those nurses and doctors right? Sounds like some Dunning Kruger shit to me.

Thanks. I'm going to, but I'm hoping my husband can be here for the conversation, anxiety is high and I'm not very assertive

I do not blame you, I would not be afraid to phone your husband if the provider is there and atleast have him on speaker phone. There’s nothing wrong with wanting the other parent to be informed! Remember to take some good deep breathes, manifest good energy and keep the faith and hope. I know it’s tough especially being in the hospital. Don’t be afraid to ask for a warm blanket if needed! 🤍👍🏼

Having a loved one or being in the hospital is always scary and anxious, I hope you find peace of mind soon.

Abso-fucking-lutely.

I’ve told my wife that if I can survive a three hour drive to the hospital, get my ass to STL or KC.

St. Louis has so many specialists and providing the best care for your daughter is the best option if you can afford it IMO

edit: op has a daughter not a son (i can’t read apparently)

This is very common for there to be specialists in St. Louis but not Springfield. We have specialists here, but it depends on what you need. If what you need is not available in Springfield 9 times out of 10 you’ll be referred to someone in St. Louis.

Probably more about the administration at Cox making the place worse on an annual basis.

The administration doesn't care about your health, the care gives there are mostly great though

Don’t do what’s best for your husband do what’s best for your child. If there was a specialist in this area they would have gotten them.

I hate to bring up this practicality when the most important piece of this is your child’s health, but would your health insurance cover a specialist or hospital stay at Mercy?? Because if not, that could be tens of thousands of dollars out of pocket….

I know that’s not an issue for everyone, but I know my insurance only covers Cox providers or the out of network folks in STL they refer me to….

Look, IDK why your kid needs a specialist, IDK what the problem is. But I have a chronic disease and had 5 surgeries in 7 years until I found a specialist 5 hours away and I've been in remission for 2 years now because I quit fucking around with doctor's who don't know shit.

If Cox is recommending Shriner's Hospital for Children, the Shrine center here does transport. (I think? I've seen their transport vans in the parking lot and know the Shriners around the country transport sick kids/families to appointments).

She's disabled so money isn't the issue, save for whether I'll have job when I come back, but that's neither here nor there.

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Good choice going to Saint Louis. They really do have many many options for higher levels of care, hope everything goes well.

This is absolutely untrue. We have had an issue before where a doctor from Missouri Eye Institute in town wanted to refer my wife to STL or KC, and stated no one in town would work. We looked around and found a specialist at Mercy, went to him for a second opinion. He spotted the issue immediately and had her back to normal in two weeks.

Whether the first doctor was incompetent or malicious makes no difference; check around here first because they absolutely do not have to refer you in town.

Second this! Also, ask for a referral to a Ronald McDonald House in St Louis to help with your costs :)

There are a lot more pediatric specialists available in St. Louis. It's likely that there isn't someone in the area who can give your child the care they need. Cox doesn't usually refer people out unless there isn't a provider within their system. My son was referred to the Children's Hospital in St. Louis to see a pediatric dermatologist, because we don't have one here.

That sounds like a very different situation than the one OP presented. In particular because their issue is finding a pediatric specialist, which we tend to lack here.

I hope your kid gets the help she needs.

However, I find it really weird that people would ask for the opinion of a complete stranger without even knowing what kind of ailment your daughter has. I would hope this would be a decision that you and your husband could make together based on all the information that you know & we don't (healthcare, diagnosis, etc).

I’m so happy you decided to go. Best of luck!!

Have you considered sometimes people just want a little support?

I'm pretty sure the doctors know what they are talking about and you should listen to them.

Barnes (in St. Louis) saved my kids life. Springfield did not have the ability to care for her.

I went through this several years ago and St. Louis was the best decision we could have made for our son. We ended up with three specialists there. It’s first class care. On a side note, we experienced over 50 hospital admissions between Cox and Mercy, for us, Mercy was a much better experience. Prayers for your daughter.

If you qualify, FMLA will protect your employment for 12 weeks.

If you want mediocre healthcare, you are welcome to drive 750 miles to the nearest Canadian border. The US is overwhelmingly the leading provider of medical innovation, research, and drug breakthroughs. It has to come at a cost somewhere.

Hospitals are a very minority place to lay blame for high healthcare costs, it's insurance companies who are really investment firms in disguise. It's the insurance companies who also happen to sell malpractice coverage. It's insurance companies that also happen to own pharmaceutical companies and drug retail locations. You are right, it is capitalism, but generally speaking, hospitals rank low on the list of reasons why.

Just like Wikipedia, don’t know what you don’t know, but you can check the sources if you hear something promising.

My sister in law died because a rural hospital sent her home too soon because they needed the bed. Glad you’re going to St. Louis

I'm so happy you are going to StL! Nothing wrong with a second opinion but pediatrics in Springfield don't hold a candle to Barnes or Wash. It's not a slam on our local providers either, I'm glad our local docs care enough to make the calls and connections to get your daughter in up there. It's one of the best in the country and she will be in good hands.

Don't forget FMLA to protect your job and regardless if you are assertive or not, don't forget your husband isn't a medical professional. You are doing an awesome job Momma! All the vibes for your girl to start feeling better. Please check into resources like Ronald McDonald house. The hospital should be able to help you with a list of these types of organizations.

reddit for medical advice?

No, for opinions and experiences with the different medical systems in the area.

From St Louis and have lots of family that work(ed) for Cox. If they are recommending the transfer, do it. The pediatric hospitals up here are some of the best in the nation for good reason. Cox doesnt bs around on their recommendations. I have seen family recommended out of Cox network for various issues and every time has been for a good reason.

My nephew was flown once and ambulance twice from Mercy to Children’s in St Louis. There wasn’t a specialist for him.

Did the medical team say send her to St. Louis? Did you say your husband say he wanted to send her to mercy? Did you ask for opinions on Reddit? Is this medically related?

This was just a suggested post, I’m not from St Louis, I don’t know the hospitals, but I work in healthcare and I read out of concern and sympathy for OP. Didn’t intend to comment, but I just want to underscore what you said. The hospital and physician are trying to get the patient to the best level of care and they know what it is. Take that advice.

We were at mercy for a suspected appendicitis for my 5yr old a few years back. They told me most likely we would have to go STL or cox as they didn’t have a pediatric surgeon. I was surprised given how “common” that is. However, I was more than ok with that option given the best care for our kids is what everyone wants including the doctors.

The hospitals in Springfield seem so big compared to where I'm from, seems crazy that we still have to upgrade, but it's necessary

I think you’re being unnecessarily rude. Someone is obviously in a lot of distress and is maybe just needing reassurance that they’re doing the right thing. Maybe have a little empathy.

If they say it is, then it absolutely is. Saint Louis has some amazing medical facilities. I hope everything goes well.

Ok, Reassurance from rando internet is not reassurance! It is dumb and dangerous!

I haven't been there a year yet, does that matter?

Insurance isn't an issue

Thanks

Thank you. They'll always be at least one I guess.

It’s about human communication. She’s not asking for treatment advice. That’s a huge difference She’s posting a dilemma that she’s experiencing and wants to speak anonymously about it.

Unfortunately, yes, you have to be with your employer for 12 months. Talk to your HR, you may be to take unpaid leave.

We were at Mercy last week and it was horrendous. 15yr old and I went to ER at 9:45 and got checked in, waited about 30min and got triaged and vitals done. Sat for hours. Got to a room, no vitals done. Waited for a long time, she did get an IV and pain meds, blood work done. Waited for an ultrasound, waited for results. Decided to do a CT, by this time it’s like 2pm. Surgeon comes in at 4, we talk and decide to do surgery. There were other cases ahead of us, but between essentially 4-8ish absolutely no updates, I asked for more pain medicine before I left at 5 to rush home and get clothes for both of us. She didn’t get the medicine until almost 6. An hour after I left (grandma was there) didn’t get to the OR until 9. Room at midnight. Got discharged at 10 the next morning. Mercy also was way too relaxed when my MIL went in with a BP of 209/94, Mercy sucks.

Cox wants to send her to a specialist in St Louis. My husband doesn't want us to have to go so far and is saying we should transfer her to mercy. Opinions?

This Rando internet guys opinion is ask a Professional!

Some people need to talk things out or bounce ideas around. It helps to clear their head, especially when being pulled in two different directions, like by what she knew was right and her husband’s opinion.

Once again, she’s not asking for medical advice and has the right to speak of her dilemma with people on Reddit. If you think it’s a bad idea, then that’s fine too. You’re allowed to have an opinion, I just think you should be nicer about it. Especially when someone is already obviously going through a lot.

Just in case you have a loved one that is needing health care and a Doctor has recommended a procedure or a specialist, by all means get a second opinion and maybe a third but get them from a Professional or Doctor not the rando on reddit! You can thank me later!LMAO

Are they both okay?

Yes. MIL was put on medicine by her primary, and my 15yr old recovered in a few days. She had surgery on a Monday night and was back in school on Thursday. Crazy!

We have been inpatient for months at St. Louis Children’s (affiliated with Barnes Jewish and staffed by WashU physicians) and they are INCREDIBLE. Springfield doesn’t have the specialists we need so off to STL we went. STL Children’s is the #1 pediatric hospital in the state and a top facility in the Midwest. The cafeteria there is not as good as Cox. You can also order food to your room through Moose on the Loose. As your nurse for a menu and their phone number. The food through that is better than the cafeteria. Have you seen someone from social work? They can help you get more meal vouchers when the family centers are closed.

I have vouchers and we've found the play room on 8 so she's having a blast right now.

The facility is supportive. Wish I could say the same about her dad or my family

Was that you in the laundry room today sitting by the window?? I’m so sorry you’re going through this and that the lounge staff was not helpful when you asked to use the phone (if this was you).

Sorry. I couldn't put a number up because I didn't have one and my phone wasn't working and my mom got me a card but I wouldn't work. I'm off my meds and can't go to the dispensary around the corner to try to calm myself because none of our family is coming. Baby girl is feeling better, so there's that, but I'm not ok.

And later I walked out the door, barely over the threshold and turned around because I decided it would be better to stay. They stopped me for coming in without registering when they say and watched me just stick my head out basically. I didn't feel welcome anymore so I went to the bathroom nearby to cry

And in all this I know I'm selfish because so many people here are going through so much worse and my kid is ok I should be grateful and I am.

Try not to be hard on yourself for fixating on things you think should be inconsequential in the larger picture. When everything is overwhelming our brains sometimes choose smaller, more manageable pieces to pick at because they seem easier than trying to fix the big thing. You can't wave a magic wand and fix your kid, so instead your brain focused on fueling your body. I've had 2 babies do month long stints in the NICU and I worked myself into a tizzy over some seriously minor things both times. With the second one it was knitting socks. Have you looked into the Ronald McDonald House? They really saved my bacon when I was by myself in Kansas City with my baby in the hospital.