Yo dude... this post... I'm schizotypal previously daily drinker and sometimes shit gets really 'sci-fi' on this subreddit. But you have to be in control and in contact with reality - that is, what is happening and possible in the 'here and now'. If you're having trouble keeping it together you should have a real good think about it, especially considering the future... I mean, you should be feeling like something positive is coming, right? Thats why you're subscribed to this subreddit, in hopes that something great is possible. Well, maybe start preparing for great things now. Alcoholism can be a depressing beast - don't let it take your future away from you. Hope this doesn't come off as too preachy. Good luck.