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Tarnac666 t1_j1ei6pv wrote

All I could think reading this was “I give the best gifts. Probably the best gifts this year, maybe the best gifts ever!”

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PrankstonHughes t1_j1fxdsb wrote

Grown men, strong men, came up to me with tears in their eyes...thanking me for those gifts I gave

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CP9ANZ t1_j1gy6ip wrote

The gifts I gave them, tremendous. Probably the best gifts they're ever seen, huge gifts, everyone got gifts. I actually invented gifts, I came up with the name for gifts, and the crazies on the left want to destroy gifts, they have a war on Xmas.

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ewedirtyh00r t1_j1h00ix wrote

Yes, but the question was 'how much does the average present cost?'

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someting-simple t1_j1k0vh7 wrote

How can you do a perfect Trump by writing, I swear I heard the voice.

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moofthedog t1_j1en7vu wrote

Nobody gives better gifts than me, and everybody says so!

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JohnFByers t1_j1eoxod wrote

People are amazed at how successful my gifts are!

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Jackers83 t1_j1fluri wrote

My gifts are huge. Probably the hugest gifts of all time.

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p00Pie_dingleBerry t1_j1fy11a wrote

I give the gift of the best gifts!

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Falcofury t1_j1fupqs wrote

What about “Listen here fat, let me set you straight. This uh, uh, um thingy isn't going anywhere. Back in my day we didn't call it corvette-91 whatever; we called it the "Shanghai Shivers". I used to know a guy, went by the name Cornflake Jackson. Ol' Cornflake used to play guitar down at the neighborhood pool hall.”

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chemistry_teacher t1_j1g5eiu wrote

You’re assuming high testosterone in the person who your quote represents.

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Ididnttrythisyet t1_j1gmsyq wrote

I'm not sure if my great gift giving talent is a result of generosity or effective money spending skills.

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Creative_Elk_4712 t1_j1lh80r wrote

You know gifts, I trust you, you definitely know the best gifts out there. You’re quite a stable gifter

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