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Coidzor t1_iy3zcbj wrote

Reply to comment by kifn2 in Vulnerable narcissism and body image self-consciousness contribute to sexual distress in men by chrisdh79

It's good to not have people beat themselves up about being lonely and to know that it's not a freakish existence to be single but most people have needs for emotional intimacy and even sexual intimacy that improve their well-being when met.

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kifn2 t1_iy42bz3 wrote

It's kind of tough to not make a judgment about one's self when it's clear that, after decades of trying, absolutely no one wants anything to do with you. Like there has to be a reason because it seems like other people can build relationships. I don't know anyone else who's family treats them as if they prefer they don't exist and most people I know have at least one friend. I just want to know what's wrong with me, but all the advice I read tells me there isn't anything wrong.

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catscanmeow t1_iy52efb wrote

I just hope your problem isnt related to you not lowering your standards enough. A TON of men who complain about being single are single because their standards are unrealistic.

Im sure there's tons of women you dont find attractive that would love to be with you, theyre lonely too.

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kifn2 t1_iy8gvzd wrote

Of course I've considered that but what would be the point in trying to pursue women that I'm not attracted to? This is all subjective, but I don't think my standards are too high. I'm not looking for flawless beauty queens or anything like that. Just someone I'm at least somewhat attracted to. I've tried being just friends with girls that i'm not attracted to, but that often ends with feelings getting hurt.

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Sololololololol t1_iy48vht wrote

Eh, idk if I’d downplay it that much. I’d say it’s the single most important thing outside of needs that will outright kill you if you lack them.

It’s not just a “oh this can improve your life” thing, it’s a “critically important part of existence” thing, even if you can point to a few edge cases of people who are 100% happy with never having any human companionship.

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