TarthenalToblakai t1_itn6e69 wrote
Reply to comment by Rubyhamster in Study finds brain changes associated with ADHD remission. As the brains of those with ADHD mature, some individuals may repetitively engage in strategies that compensate for symptoms. These repetitive behaviors may result in the brain changes seen in those who went into remission. by Wagamaga
From what I understand it's not a lack of dopamine receptors so much as one's dopamine reuptake system being "too efficient" -- effectively cleaning up the dopamine before it's had the opportunity to actually finish doing its neurological job.
But yeah, ADHD in particular is a very multifaceted, complex, and nuanced topic. Being a neurological disorder already makes it such, but the way it intersects and interacts with social contexts makes for such a large variety of manifestations, many seemingly contradictory.
I did mostly fine as a kid because structure was imposed on me by school and parents...and because I had intense rejection sensitivity (and validation euphoria) which shaped my coping mechanisms. Yeah I hated and procrastinated on homework until the very last minute, but I'd ultimately do it because the prospective shame of teachers and parents being disappointed in me was overwhelming. Yeah I'd fidget, but to save myself from attention and embarrassment I'd keep them subtle and unnoticeable by others, like little tiny finger movements (imagining I'm playing an instrument -- in my case initially the recording and then the violin). Yeah I'd daydream and lose focus in class, but if there was a chance the teacher would call on me to answer something I'd be laser focused -- don't wanna disappoint.
Because of this no one knew I had ADHD, including myself. Always just figured I was just a "creative daydreamer" and "sensitive hopeless romantic". Never even considered the possibility as all I knew was the stereotype of hyperactive disruptive children with poor grades who couldn't focus where I was the opposite: a quiet and reserved kid with good grades who would hyperfocus on a good book or video games for hours (gee who would've thought that hyperfocus on things you're very interested in is itself a symptom of something called "attention-deficit" disorder.)
In middle school my family and I suspected social anxiety and got some SSRIs to medicate which ended up being terrible (made me feel incredibly apathetic to everything.)
And so for the longest time I figured I was just doomed to be an introverted socially anxious person.
Then adulthood came and I lost the externally imposed life structures of childhood and just fell apart. Still took me a decade to figure out I had ADHD, but in retrospect it all made so much sense...and my so-called social anxiety was primarily me subconsciously leaning into my rejection sensitivity as a coping mechanism to fight against other ADHD symptoms.
Rubyhamster t1_itn7lrf wrote
Wow, you are me. I was exactly the same. Realizing in my 30s that I've lived with ADHD my whole life was such a relief. I was mindblown. It all suddenly made sense. Thought I was doomed to not handle life and have been constantly stressed for 15 years. I just hope I can repair my self esteem in time to save my health from further unhealthy stress
iforgotmyacctinfo123 t1_itntplb wrote
Holy hell, this hit really close to home to the point that I got a bit emotional, reading it; I could’ve sworn we were living the same life. I’m no expert in the field nor topic, but have been struggling for years now in my adult life (I’m 27), to the point of emotional distress. I had always suspected the possibility of ADHD, but didn’t fully buy into it (mainly because I thought you had to be the textbook hyperactive, attention deficit description to fully consider it a possibility. The other reason being that I was an adult and it seem so odd to me to have these issues arise so prominently now; I just shrugged as just “life” itself), but reading this, I should get myself checked out or tested. Thank you for sharing your story, and I hope things have been much easier to manage for you in recent times
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