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QuestionableAI t1_irny6or wrote

Maybe focus on why she's depressed ... how come daddy ain't depressed?.. .. what are the structural, cultural, social, economic systemic situations that create or increase the problems?

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Celadorkable t1_iro3mtp wrote

About 10% of new fathers do develop symptoms of PPD

New parenthood is very isolating, most people don't have the support of a "village". We saw how stress, isolation and staying home affected people mentally during covid - having a new baby is much the same.

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QuestionableAI t1_irofo66 wrote

I did not know that ... thanks.

The "village" thing is for real. Grew up on a farm with parents and grandparents who lived less than 100 ft from our house. Hard to out think 4 adults ... but I developed a particular set of skills...;)

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TallulahBob t1_irpmipf wrote

Had a baby during covid. His birth happened mere days before full lockdown. He didn’t meet anyone for months. I also am a life-long depression sufferer. He has speech delays.

Now I’m more depressed thinking this really could be my fault.

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Celadorkable t1_irpov4m wrote

He's still young, and you now have awareness.

Its way better to realise this and be able to make changes or support him differently, than to realise it when he's an adult. Or not realise it at all.

My eldest has a lot of trouble with emotional regulation, attention and anxiety. I had OCD and PPD when I was pregnant and for a long time after he was born. After I got better I had his sister, and she's sensitive but doesn't have the same troubles as her brother. I totally understand how you feel knowing you may have contributed to his delays, it's such a tough feeling, especially when it's like the "damage is done".

But I promise it isn't. My mum had mental health issues throughout my childhood(she still does too), and my brother and I both have a lot of difficulties from that emotional roller coaster. She never sought help or addressed it. You and I have the advantage of awareness and willingness to do our best with help. Our kids will be much better off thanks to us trying every day. You've got this

(Also covid lockdown is not your fault at all, and lack of socialising was unavoidable then)

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Pearl_is_gone t1_irooj18 wrote

Research on impact of depression is different from research on why depression happens.

Be happy people are researching important topics. If you feel something more needs to be done about another issue, then do consider getting involved yourself :)

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