From the article: A new study of German couples has found that individuals with secure emotional attachment are more likely to forgive offences to their partners, but also to be forgiven. Persons with a preoccupied attachment style were more likely to forgive their partners, but were neither more nor less likely to be forgiven. The study was published in the Journal of Research in Personality.

Romantic couples experience many positive moments in the course of their romantic relationship. But these relationships also involve conflicts. Although typically unpleasant and stressful, conflicts are not necessarily negative. Conflicts can be resolved and forgiven, thus strengthening the relationship. Due to this, forgiveness after conflicts is a central aspect of healthy and happy relationship functioning.

“Forgiveness is defined as a prosocial change characterized by decreased retaliation motivation or estrangement from the offender and by increased conciliation. Forgiveness can be understood as a coping strategy, that is, a ‘process of neutralizing a stressor that has resulted from a perception of an interpersonal hurt.’ Thus, the end-point of the forgiveness process occurs when an individual experiences little or no stress resulting from the transgression,” the authors of the new study explained.

Forgiveness can improve the quality of the relationship and it can also be good for mental health and the overall well-being. However, in abusive relationships, forgiveness can be harmful as it can place the forgiving individual at risk of further harm.

Forgiveness might also be shaped by emotional attachment patterns. These patterns start to be shaped by experiences with the caregiver in infancy and continue to affect social relationships throughout life. Researchers typically distinguish secure attachment, characterized by reciprocity, closeness, intimacy and constructive behaviors in a conflict, and insecure attachment patterns, characterized by low trust and negative views of oneself.