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MissingScore777 t1_jcfdgbc wrote

Always got between 7 and 7.5hrs of sleep until I had kids.

Rarely managed more than 5hrs in the 4 years since. I feel less healthy and just in all round worse shape both physically and mentally.

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TurtleAir t1_jcgcqzu wrote

Would you go as far to say that you regret having kids?

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MissingScore777 t1_jcgf1qy wrote

I'm going to elaborate rather than immediately go yes or no.

The eldest's sleep is improving all the time and she is also adding less of a daily mental load as she becomes more independent. We are just still in the thick of it with the youngest is the issue.

So as long as my condition doesn't deteriorate in the next year or two and the youngest improves in line with his sister then my answer is no. I do not regret kids.

If for whatever reason lack of sleep or the 24/7 intense parenting babies and toddlers require continued for a lot longer than I'm expecting then I would start to move closer to yes.

For background info I am the father and primary parent despite working FT. I would say it's about a 60/40 split in responsibility towards me. That is obviously a lot more involved than fathers have been historically. Someone in a situation where they were a lot less involved might feel differently.

And finally I should say that I have had a vasectomy as I am 100% certain I do not want any more.

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youritalianjob t1_jchb7dj wrote

Pretty much my experience as well except I'm closer to a 50/50 split. I usually get around 5-6 hours most nights myself but definitely need more based on how I feel throughout the day. I haven't gotten a full 8 in a few years.

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