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Critical_Liz t1_je4qpu1 wrote

My mom would accuse me of "pulling an attitude" whenever I didn't agree with her.

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costumrobo t1_je53fue wrote

Love a title that states the same thing twice verbatim.

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spankythemonk t1_je56zg4 wrote

as a poor executive functioning father, i am glad it only effects mothers.

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casus_bibi t1_je56zhu wrote

It is a lot easier to get overwhelmed with executive dysfunction, making disruptive (or disobedient) behavior more difficult to deal with. It's very easy to go from zero to 100 if a young child keeps up bad behavior, like loud screaming/singing/noise, or if the kid refuses to clean up their mess (this is already difficult with ED, then add the additional difficulty of time pressure and a child refusing to clean up their toys), if you already warned them and are running out of energy to compensate. It's also relatively easy to attribute malicious intent to the behavior, because you have already warned them that you can't handle it and the behavior continues.

It seems probable to me that these mothers are trying to somewhat protect themselves from being overstimulated and overwhelmed as non compliance can trigger panic attacks, meltdowns, and anxiety.

As they only tested this with mothers of young children, it's possible that this authoritarian parenting style will become less rigid as the child develops more empathy for the needs of their parents, and the domestic noise levels and neediness of the kids lessens.

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QncyFie t1_je67m93 wrote

Mom not harsh parent, but hostile interpretation bias especially towards strangers and unfamiliars

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Cognomifex t1_je6ezd5 wrote

Replying to casus_bibi (#2,448,655)

This comment is very compassionate towards parents and kids, what a great read. If I was trying too hard to take issue with it I'd say that calling it 'bad behaviour' isn't fair to the kid but it's perfectly workable shorthand for this level of discussion and easier than calling it something like 'disruptive boundary-exploring behaviour'.

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Cynicole24 t1_je6in74 wrote

I can relate. I have ADHD, I have to really bite my tongue. I hate being this way.

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hundredthlion t1_je6k1v8 wrote

Replying to casus_bibi (#2,448,655)

I think the issue here is the fact that the authoritarian attitude and harsh response to the child is going to cause issues if they’re expecting their child to do things outside of the proper developmental level. No doubt executive functioning issues add to the mothers being overstimulated (I have ADHD and executive function is a real struggle at times) but the fact is there’s a solid chance the executive function issues are something the kids will experience as well. They expect the children to follow every direction without hesitation but struggle with executive function themselves - something they’d have trouble doing.

What’s interesting is the fact that they are perceiving negative intent even when it’s absolutely not there. I grew up with a harsh mother. When a parent is unable to self regulate and don’t actively work on it,
this causes a lot of issues for the kids. It’s a shame.

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high5scubadive t1_je6zmkk wrote

Well yeah…this was me with 3 little kids until I got treated for undiagnosed ADHD I had for 38 years. That’s a lot of women who get diagnosed as mothers. Their kid gets diagnosed first.

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