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randa_panda t1_j95sjqq wrote

This is something my friends and family struggle to understand about me. I don’t feel better and accomplished after I face something that makes me anxious. The feeling lingers and it doesn’t feel good. I really do feel better mentally when I avoid situations that cause anxiety.

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Queasy-Bite-7514 t1_j95xny2 wrote

Ok but you are still negatively reinforcing your avoidance behaviors. If you want to be less fearful you need some degree of gradual exposure or desensitization. The relief of avoiding fear is very reinforcing.

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randa_panda t1_j95yo1c wrote

Eh I know how to handle my anxiety, decades of therapy and stuff. I am a fully functional adult living on my own and successful in my (kinda stressful ) career. I was just saying this is one part of my anxiety people in my life don’t get.

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Tempts t1_j9620fj wrote

Because avoidance isn’t “handling” anything. It makes your anxiety worse. That is science and it is proven. The exception is if something just isn’t or doesn’t need to be part of your life. I am not suited to being a skydiver or one of those squirrel suit people. But that’s never going to come up. My fear of glass elevators was coming up all the time. I had to work on that.

Source: I’m a psychotherapist that specializes in the treatment of anxiety and OCD.

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randa_panda t1_j9636qn wrote

I not saying I avoid stuff that causes anxiety that i need to do, just that people in my life don’t understand that I still feel anxious and awful after completing a task. My mom always goes ‘you should feel accomplished and better now that it’s over’. No I don’t and she can’t wrap her head around it. What I mean by handling it Is I have a support system and focus on breathing and other techniques to get myself through the tough times. I still do things that make me anxious, just with certain ‘tools’ that people without anxiety wouldn’t need and it took me a few years to figure out what works for me.

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[deleted] t1_j99gji5 wrote

If you're functional and happy its ok to "avoid" optional things as its just another way to say "having a boundary".

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