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HelenAngel t1_j85nhnf wrote

Reply to comment by Imaginary-Ad-9397 in Large study provides evidence that goal incongruence can harm romantic relationship satisfaction by glum-platimium

Yes, ultimately it is a dealbreaker because there will come a time when they will want to explore & the other person won’t. One good way to discover this is to ask a potential partner what they hope their life will be like in 5 years. It’s the same with libido- ultimately the relationship won’t last without someone becoming resentful of the other partner that they feel is limiting them

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maimou1 t1_j86z0ps wrote

idk, I've traveled a bit without husband but with his agreement, and we're still happy together (41 years in August).

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slinkysuki t1_j87e242 wrote

Well yeah, the agreement is key. You don't have to value everything the same, but you do need to understand that someone else is allowed to have different priorities and you may have to accommodate them from time to time.

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Cayslayy t1_j87gtas wrote

I wish I really understood this 10 years ago..

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Alarmed-Wolf14 t1_j87gzsp wrote

I mean it’s not always a deal breaker. I’ve always wanted to travel but would give that up for the right person and did.

I think back on it sometimes but I don’t blame them. I made the decision and they aren’t adverse to taking vacations so that’s a good middle ground for me.

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HelenAngel t1_j87i4x4 wrote

As long as it’s good for you, absolutely. But there are others who would become resentful that they are prevented from leading the life they want to live.

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opiusmaximus2 t1_j87e7oy wrote

Marriage is a lot longer than 5 years. 5 year plans are irrelevant for marriages.

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HelenAngel t1_j87gkg1 wrote

That’s a fair point. But it should hopefully give you a better idea if your goals are compatible. With that said, obviously people change & there are no guarantees- especially in marriage.

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