I know this feeling to well… such a sucky feeling. same exact plans every year until I turned 38. When my grandmother passed it was tough and our family holidays dissolved. This year was the first year my 20 year old son was not home Christmas Eve or Morning. I am happy he is growing in life and I missed him so very much. So conflicting! I hope you were able to have a happy day despite the changes you have been dealt. 💕