Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

Rs90 t1_ivll4od wrote

Reply to comment by BurkeyTurger in What are y’all sick with? by xTiredSoulx

Anhedonia is a nightmare until you wrap your mind around it. A lot more manageable when I can accept I won't enjoy anything I do and just face it. Instead of frantically trying to "fill the void" and getting frustrated and despair.

Sorry you're dealing with it. It was an impossible feeling to describe to loved ones around me who just couldn't understand why I was in such an awful mood at times. It's like tryin to drink water and having it turn to sand.

10

BurkeyTurger t1_ivls7qk wrote

Hey I really appreciate it, thankfully/not thankfully it is also a known quantity for me in the sense that it isn't really unfamiliar and I can keep up an ok facade at work.

For me it is a thing that seems to annually accompany seasonal depression mixing with regular depression but this year I've been doing the opposite of dealing with it well e.g. overeating, not exercising, not taking vitamin D, drinking heavier, binging passive media till the early AM, etc. Things that give you a brief brain reward but are gone just as quick.

I will say it is always frustrating to recognize you're going about things the wrong way but not have the internal motivation/executive function to actually address it.

8

Rs90 t1_ivmg0oh wrote

I feel ya, the seasonal stuff gets me as well. It's like you're brain just hits a wall and everything else keeps flying forward.

The best way I've heard it described is that you're "perceiving life, instead of experiencing it". I get disassociated but I've gotten better at recognizing when I'm in that weird un-real feeling. The depersonalization that comes with it, at least for me.

You're last paragraph def hits home. And touches on that quote above for me. It's like having a constant argument with your self while you sit in the middle just sorta staring at the wall. I find speed/heavy metal or thrash helps work me up! Anger, even manufactured with music, is an easy emotion to slide into to help jump start my brain into motion. If that makes sense.

Like DIO! 🤟

3

BurkeyTurger t1_ivmv4xn wrote

Correct on all counts.

The music stuff totally makes sense. I personally go for high BPM vocaloid, industrial, or something like The Acacia Strain.

1