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MissLauraCroft t1_j9yc3ho wrote

I also failed to sleep in. My kids decided to play some 7am video games, which led to yelling and controller-throwing. We had a chat about respecting our toys, especially the ones Mommy spent a ton of money on, and how to control “gamer rage”. I’m a gamer but never got the rage, so… any advice is welcome, please!!

We’re going to have a big Saturday morning family breakfast, then kids’ basketball, church tomorrow. Otherwise I plan on relaxing as much as I can.

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Woodsman1993 t1_j9yeh1h wrote

Hahah I’m sorry. I never understood gamer rage either, but I know it’s common. It’s a competitive thing I guess. Back when I used to play sports (moderately competitively) some people would freak out and I just never got it. But I’m about to have my first kid, so I’m sure I’ll see it soon enough.

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Rs90 t1_j9ylto7 wrote

It's a psychological tangle of wires imo. A major appeal of gaming is control. You press the button and it responds to that command immediately. Makes monkey brain feel good in a world of little control.

But having total control also means you're responsible for any fuck ups like not parrying at the right time and dyin like ass. It causes an immediate self-reflection that causes some to be embarrassed, frustrated, angry, deflect...ect. And some respond to these emotions with anger.

Adults do it all the time in real life but they don't realize it's the same as "gamer rage". How many times have you seen a full grown adult do somethin stupid, embarrassing, or frustrating and lose their mind? Stub their toe and get angry at the wall despite THEM being the only thing in motion. Not the fuckin wall.

People get very angry when forced to reconcile they don't have as much control as they thought, have control and still fucked it up, or just plain made a mistake. Learning how to reflect on oneself can be difficult when you're young. But it's important to do so. Or you'll become that dude that freaks out anytime you make a tiny mistake or miscalculation. Or worse, deflect and project it onto others and become an insufferable narcissist.

Edit- sorry I love video games and psychology and have seen this shit in online gaming for decades lol. People snapping Wii remotes in half cause they fucked up jumped into spikes and blame Mario.

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MissLauraCroft t1_j9yon1c wrote

This makes perfect sense! My oldest kid does like things to be predictable and under control, so I can understand his rage now. And I totally get mad at inanimate objects when I stub my toe. Thank you!

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Rs90 t1_j9yqt54 wrote

No problem. I'm a control freak as well so I know the feeling. Took years to acknowledge I like control and to be okay with that but still be mindful and accept when things are out of my control. Or suddenly change from being in my control to suddenly not.

Video games are a great way to live a "power fantasy" in a harmless way. Especially as a kid where you have little control. Too young to be right but too old to be wrong haha.

One thing I recommend is trying to teach em to go with the flow. Don't get too attached to how you think something will go. Offer alternatives before an event is set in motion. Goin to get ice-cream? Ask em what they're gonna get. "Chocolate!" "Ooo, chocolate is good. And if they don't have chocolate?" Make em acknowledge the possibility of having to change their plan based on outside variables they can't control.

Not everytime cause you don't wanna overanalyze every possibility. But it helps with kids not getting too worked up and confused when life changes as rapidly as it does at times.

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Ms-Pamplemousse t1_j9ylgi7 wrote

Honestly it's not just "gamer rage," it could happen with tennis or other sports, too. I suggest finding ways to help focus the kid on having fun playing vs winning. This is something I struggled with as a kid and identifying some coping mechanisms back then could have helped me a lot with life in general.

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firemummy t1_j9zgqqn wrote

I have a younger brother who would throw absolute fits if he died or something in a game. I spent a summer with him between college semesters and he noticed that I lose it with laughter each time I'm really trying in a game and fail (laughter intensity tending to be proportional to how hard I'm trying). I noticed that it started to rub off on him, so I made greater efforts to point out how hilarious I found whatever was happening. I think he still has trouble, but for the most part he snaps out of it if he is reminded. Not sure if that is possible with whatever ages you are dealing with, but good luck!

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Kayso t1_j9ygvol wrote

I recall getting super mad at video games as a kid because it felt i had no power/ability to win. Since maturing, i have taking care to practice looking at what exactly happened to allow the other player to win and think about what could have been done to counter, and how i can implement that strategy in the future. Just my take though

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