my (23f) partner (29m) of 3 years forgot our anniversary

Submitted by Practical-Ad-6542 t3_10qa18f in relationship_advice

My partner and I have been together for heading up 3 years. Our anniversary is coming up in a few weeks and I have repeatedly reminded him of this.

I purchased a small handmade gift for him which is being made overseas and won’t arrive for the anniversary on time. I told him this and apologised that the gift would be late to which he responded “ugh - so that means I have to get you a gift? I’ll sort it out on X date (the day before our anniversary)”.

Two days ago I got home from work and he told me he was going away with a friend for two days - one of which is the anniversary. I asked him if he was serious and if he knew what day that was and he thought about it for a second and said “our anniversary” and laughed.

I immediately went into another room and spent a few hours alone to think. When I came out and tried to have a discussion about him forgetting he said “so what?” and told me he was sick of my sulking.

This is the most recent of a long string of (relatively minor) issues we’ve had with his selfish behaviour and him prioritising friends and family over us and I am feeling like a low priority in his life and very down about it. Any advice?

TLDR: My bf of 3 years is going away for our 3 year anniversary and got angry with me for being upset.

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Hailthewinterday t1_j6or0ii wrote

That’s not the makings of a loving and supportive partner. They should care about what you care about. He is showing you that your anniversary does not matter to him even though it matters to you.

If he doesn’t fix this mistake, you should move on because there is absolutely someone out there who will value what you value without question.

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DplusLplusKplusM t1_j6os5vz wrote

After three years together he should know that you take even this non marital "anniversary" seriously. So even if he thinks it's silly he should at least recognize that it's important you. These are the compromises we're supposed to make when we're in a relationship. So now you know that he doesn't prioritize sentimentality. But the truth is you've probably known that for a while now. All you can really do is decide if the positives he brings to the relationship outweigh what you perceive as the negatives. Once the bad eclipses the good there's not much to do but consider ending the relationship.

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bvago07 t1_j6oshgv wrote

To me it would depend on the partnership the other 364 days. For me and my husband, it’s just another day cause the other 364, he’s an amazing partner to me. I joke with him that even tho HE picked the wedding date, he still forgets haha it doesn’t bother me if he doesn’t do anything special cause he treats me amazing and visa Versa every day. If your bf isn’t, then reevaluate your relationship and if you want to continue. I don’t care much but you might so setting those expectations with him is your first step. If he ignores you, then move on without him.

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