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Dig up the stats on what it would cost in your area to pay someone to do all the household chores you're doing. Then when you and he sit down to hash out your monthly budget present those numbers to him. Relationships work best when both parties feel they're each providing half of what it costs a couple to live. So negotiate it. Also, don't blithely trot into marriage until this is completely resolved. That includes the future, especially if you're hoping to have a family. It's just a fact that kids will damage your career more than his. So if expectations and a firm plan haven't been established you'll just end up with a lot of resentment. Arguments about money cause more divorces than any other reason.

• My partner and I have had an on and off relationship for the last 5 years
• The house is 5 minutes from his job, it is about 2 hours from my job and friends/family
• I feel like I’m making a lot of sacrifices for us to live together
• I do all of the chores around the house such as laundry and dishes cleaning etc.
• He makes double my income
• He insists he also wants to split the rent 50-50 which I don’t feel is fair

Your reletionship has a lot of holes in it. Please postpone this idea for now:

>he bought an engagement ring, we will soon be engaged

You should be focusing on making your relationship something you're happy to exist in. Do not go into an engagement unhappy.

A ring isn't going to solve problems.

It's just locking you into the unhappiness.

Please correct these things and ensure the two of you are capable of understanding each-other and giving compromises.

Honey you would be better off living at home . If your bf can’t compromise on the financial aspect , you’ll find you’re just working to pay bills.

50/50 rent makes sense if it is an ideal living situation for both of you. It seems to me that you are making a great deal of sacrifices so I think if you are doing the cooking/cleaning and utilities, if I was him I would take that deal. Seems reasonable enough. You’ll be spending more on gas and stuff so the only incentive for you to live there is because of cheaper rent, which if you’re paying 50/50 ultimately you’re taking a bigger financial hit for no apparent reason

Tell that selfish bastard no when he offers you the ring.

I would questions if this is someone I would want to marry if this is how he is treating you. Two hours away from work and family. You cook and clean. Let him use your car. What exactly is he contributing.

So he pays when we go out together on dates so for like dinner on the weekend at a restaurant for example

Thank you. Do you have any advice for how best to approach negotiating this again? I get bad anxiety talking about finances or things like that when I know it’s going against what he wants because I hate confrontations

WHY are you still in this relationship?

And please dont tell me its because you love him.

There is nothing in this situation about YOU. Its all about HIM

Go now quickly

Or we will see you back here in 2 years saying "i just dont know what went wrong"

That doesn’t justify him treating you like this.

Is there any way I could talk to him about this one last time? Like the best way to try to negotiate? I get really anxious discussing things like finances when there’s a disagreement

I would suggest a financial advisor for the 2 if you if I thought he wanted to understand, but I think he just wants to control the situation.

>when I know it’s going against what he wants because I hate confrontations

I am sorry, but you cannot be afraid of upsetting your partner.

Remember. This is YOUR reletionship as well. You have a right to your voice and having your opinion taken into consideration.

Your reletionship has to be constructed in a way that you agree with and also works for you.

If every time you try to address something that you don't like, and it results in him winning the 'conflict'... then you stop focusing on that independent issue, and start focusing on the lack of compromise and willingness to value your opinion.

If he refuses to work on his ability to compromise, then the reletionship is dysfunctional. You've been officially silenced in the reletionship, unequal power distribution.

The above issue is the more severe problem in your reletionship.

Are you okay with this? To be honest, none of the points you mentioned sounds good. Are you okay with moving away from your friends? Are you okay with doing all the chores for the rest of your life? This is nit going to change so please think about it: is this how you want the rest of your life to be like?