Well, I'm not sure what else to tell you...

You say you were a bad person (i'm assuming you fucked up somewhere, sorry If I'm wrong here), she left for a month as a temporary split, then you changed and got back together.

Does this imply the "well, I fucked up once and she took me back, so I should forgive her fuck up and take her back?" kind of feeling for you? Or do you feel different from this?

I honesty have no idea why she's being so indecisive, considering you describe her (from my point of view) is proud and very "self-reliant", when she should be able to make a more "progressive" choice rather than "beat around the bush"

Either way, I'd say it'll be really difficult to get back to where you once were, before this incident happened, and truthfully habe no idea of that can be reached again. How do you currently feel about your trust in her, and her trust in you?