Submitted by ThrowRA-wwydiw t3_10pyvmw in relationship_advice
bluemonker0 t1_j6mud25 wrote
Do not combine finances with someone who's still supporting his ex. She sounds like she just wanted to come to America to live, and he was at least smart enough to realize that when she was here. Why is he still sending her money? He can do whatever he wants with his own money, but you don't want yours going to another woman too.
Can you see an actual future with this man? Does he make you truly happy? Will you always be distrustful of him and could you continue to be with someone when you have those doubts?
ThrowRA-wwydiw OP t1_j6muo7c wrote
I really love him. I know the age gap is crazy, but my life is just different I guess. I grew up around all adults, I was never really allowed to hang out with people my age, so I’m generally just more comfortable and prefer older men. He and I agree on pretty much everything. Same politics, same views, same interests, religious beliefs etc. so it does check out at least. I am so hurt because I see myself marrying him..
Nihil-011 t1_j6mx4wk wrote
You desperately need therapy.
ThrowRA-wwydiw OP t1_j6mxggb wrote
Appreciate it
ThrowRA-wwydiw OP t1_j6mxh1i wrote
You paying though?
Nihil-011 t1_j6n10ll wrote
No, but I can maybe assist you in finding someone that would be inexpensive. If you’re east coast USA. I work in behavioral therapy for adults with disabilities, so what you need is outside my field, but I do network with therapists, counselors and social workers often.
[deleted] t1_j6niya5 wrote
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ThrowRA-wwydiw OP t1_j6njtbg wrote
That’s the funny thing. He doesn’t pay for shit for me. He bought me a couple nice gifts for Christmas. I pay for everything and work super hard for my money. That’s why I’m like damn, I’m not even getting money and she is??? Hahaha. She literally just getting handouts from him.
bananahammerredoux t1_j6n3ae3 wrote
There’s nothing wrong with what you’re saying here as far as your own perspective goes. But what you’re ignoring is that a middle aged man should not be comfortable with a 20 year old as a partner. When you’re standing on the 45 year old side of it, 20 looks and feels extremely young and inappropriate. Which means you’re dating someone who is totally comfortable with inappropriate situations. Want more proof? Look at what he’s doing with his ex.
[deleted] t1_j6niuym wrote
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[deleted] t1_j6mxgfy wrote
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