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nightowl2023 t1_j6pc4uo wrote

I'm not saying that this is right but when something is a social norm it's hard to say that something is "wrong".

It very much is still a social norm for the male in a MF relationship to take on a higher financial burden. The 50/50 model is an exception and a lot of women are conditioned to not think anything of it.

Part of the problem here is that you feel that this should be expected. And she obviously feels something else should be expected. And that's what happen when two people don't actually talk to each other about expectations.

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TMGStan420 OP t1_j6pd7ux wrote

Expectations were talked about very early on. It was discussed at month 2 into our relationship and at two other moments. I didn’t expect 50/50 because of our salary discrepancies. We agreed that the effort I’m putting in financially can be offset in other areas. But it wasn’t. We agreed with her having a slightly larger grocery bill for the weeks I visited so that we had leftovers for lunch. After like 2 visits, it ended up with me having to give her money for groceries because she didn’t want to pay 40 dollars more the weeks I visited.

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nightowl2023 t1_j6pe928 wrote

As someone who writes contracts and policies every day. You think that what you discussed was clear once again but I'm telling you that it was not.

For example "offset in other areas" what does that mean?

Does it mean extra sex? And how do you define extra sex? Your expectations obviously we're not met so unless she was intentionally trying not to meet them there was some type of breakdown in communication.

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TMGStan420 OP t1_j6pfh16 wrote

I’m not going into the specifics with you. There were specifics that we talked about, and she agreed to do those things. Essentially it was things she could do to make me feel loved and valued in other ways. For example, when she makes herself breakfast in the morning, I’d love if she made extras for me. Acts of service are big for me. She would do them for about a week and then stop again. There was no breakdown in the communication, just a lack of care by one party.

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