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southcoastal t1_j6oxirq wrote

No. You’ve broken up. This will just be rubbing salt in the wound. You’ll be doing it to give yourself closure not for her.

Stay away and let her start healing. Do t send this.

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DistraugtlyDistractd t1_j6oxxm1 wrote

It would let her know I am still open as long as she wants to work for it

−207

hedbryl t1_j6pa4am wrote

Then why did you break up with her? Sounds like it was a "test" to see if she'd start doing what you wanted. That's toxic af. Break up or get back together (as she is, with no expectation of change), none of this manipulative nonsense.

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DistraugtlyDistractd t1_j6pbbbe wrote

I was sure of it at the time and it needed to be done. She said that one day she hopes our paths cross again. I am just missing the good times man, I know this is a bad idea. I pretty much said this when we were breaking up, she didn't want to try and save it, she said she felt the same way about breaking up too. I loved her so I let her go, I did that because she didn't prioritize me and it felt like I was a FWB sometimes.

−58

Chrizilla_ t1_j6pcavm wrote

Not worth it, remember the good times for what they were, but look forward to a new and bright future.

20

VTGCamera t1_j6phouk wrote

No, you want the total opposite. Just leave. Don't get near, it will help you mentally and also her to clear her mind in case she wants to really get back, not because you are pressuring or guilt tripping her.

2

Indecks9999 t1_j6oz3ls wrote

The time to "work on it" was when you are together. Not after you break up

Dont send it. let her leave in peace

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KurosakiOnepiece t1_j6oypzt wrote

You dumped her, there’s no need to send her that text

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DistraugtlyDistractd t1_j6oyxal wrote

Its to let her know that I love her and if she wanted to make things work its on her

−95

No_Spot_1291 t1_j6p86yl wrote

Why didn't that conversation take place before breaking up?

Edit - a word

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ConvivialKat t1_j6p85sw wrote

You broke up. Breaking up doesn't need a follow-up text.

Do not send this. I don't even know you, and it made me cringe.

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Katykattie t1_j6p03pu wrote

This is so fricken cringey and there’s obviously reasons you two broke up so why tf are you playing games? End it and leave it ended like you wanted and let her move on and find someone else. This has got to be a joke with how cringe it is. I’d be relieved getting this message after being dumped tbh because I’d be so grossed out with how tacky and cringe it is (yes I’ve said cringe many times now but it really is)

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nickmandl t1_j6oz9g7 wrote

If you send her this, you’ll end up waiting to hear back from her. I know you think you’re not looking for a response, but by leaving the door open for her to come back, some part of you will always be waiting for that to happen. When you don’t hear back from her, you will hurt more. I’ve been here man. It hurts, but the best thing to do is not send the message and just let it go.

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whenitrainsitpours4 t1_j6p49h4 wrote

I wouldn't send this.

>If you want to work things out then we can talk and address both of our issues together. Anytime you are ready. I know the past few months have been rough and emotionally exhausting

Y'all have obviously had a rough few months leading up to this break-up. YOU broke up with HER fairly recently by the sounds of it. This 4 paragraphs of "I love you" and "Let's fight for this" honestly just sounds like love-bombing, drama, and more emotional exhaustion. One day you want her, the next day you don't.

Let it go, and work on moving on.

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Coco_Dirichlet t1_j6p2nkq wrote

You are an idiot. You broke up and now you want to send a message to see if she comes back groveling to get you back.

You are making all about you. It was so haaaaard. What do you want? An applause?

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PickleChips4Days t1_j6p8sak wrote

I would hate to get this text. Leave. Her. Alone.

20

GHERU42 t1_j6oxivy wrote

Want advice are you looking for?

16

DistraugtlyDistractd t1_j6oy1rk wrote

Should I send it or no. I want her to know this and it will be up to her if she wants to get back together

−23

Useful-Confection-57 t1_j6p3irf wrote

Why did you not verbalize this before breaking up with her? At 22, it seems you still have some growing up to do before you are ready for this. At this point, you are yanking her chain.

22

quality_username_ t1_j6pbfrc wrote

Are you playing games? You dumped her. You had a chance to work through things. You chose to dump instead. Now you want to put the ball back in her court to make her chase you? No. You ended it. Leave her alone.

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DistraugtlyDistractd t1_j6pby6q wrote

I know its a bad idea, I didn't want to end things but I did because she didn't seem to prioritize me and I felt like I was losing her to other guys.

I pretty much said this during the break up, she didn't want to fight to make things work, she said she felt the same way about it not working out for a while. I love what she could be, and maybe if we communicated better it would have worked but that scenario is a make believe one.

I told her I love her and she said the same, she said there is a good chance we get back together. I just miss her man.

−3

Aussiealterego t1_j6pgt5p wrote

You are in love with your dream of what the relationship could be, not what it was.
You've cut a clean break, let it rest.

DO NOT SEND IT

It's wishy-washy and full of "poor me" and drama. It makes you sound like hard work. Just don't.

5

quality_username_ t1_j6pgyb8 wrote

This is a maturity moment. You wanted her to chase you so you felt important. She didn’t. You now want to make sure she knows the ball is in her court. What when she doesn’t make the play the way you want her to?

Many people don’t want to fight to make things work. They want to enjoy their lives. Nothing happened. You felt you weren’t a priority. She probably did feel like you were but you didn’t feel prioritized enough. So- you’re at an impasse.

If you want her back you have to accept who she is and how she loves. And then the ball is in your court. Nobody with self respect will chase someone who dumped them. That being said “I love what she could be”… don’t love for potential. People are going to grow into who they want to be- not who you want them to be. At 21 she still has a lot of growing to do (you do too)… love her for who she is or let her go.

4

lilpandatoys t1_j6ozinb wrote

You broke up with her. It’s time to let things rest.

You will only hurt her more by sending this.

9

Gardengoddess83 t1_j6p2xv7 wrote

Nope. Don't do it. Let her go. This reads as a last-ditch effort to try to keep the door open. Close the door and allow you both to move on.

8

ChunkierMilk t1_j6p8g5t wrote

It is cruel to tell someone you’re breaking up with that you love them; you don’t or you wouldn’t end it

7

Eastern_Effective_87 t1_j6p9306 wrote

Do not hold things lady hostage to your emotions. Sounds like she needs to block you. These are words that should have been said before you left.

6

CapitalG888 t1_j6pghuj wrote

No.

That is completely manipulative and too late.

If you're willing to work through the issues, then why dump her? You should've communicated and tried to fix them.

You dumped her. Stop trying to make her feel like there's a chance down the line.

If you weren't mature enough to work through the issues, then you're not now.

It smells of insecurity on your end. Like you're regretting breaking up.

5

Silverwolf9669 t1_j6ozgqv wrote

If she did not fight to save your relationship when still together, you were right to let her go. Move forward separately.

4

treacle1810 t1_j6p7no7 wrote

no, you broke up. let the poor girl move on.

3

Diesel07012012 t1_j6pb6vo wrote

What’s the point of posting this if you’re just going to downvote everyone that disagrees with you?

Sure, go ahead, send it. It won’t do any good. The best case scenario is she blocks you and trashes you to everyone you both know. The worst scenario is the authorities show up with a warrant to search your phone in regards to harassment charges.

This won’t make you look good. In fact, it will make you look decidedly worse, potentially narcissistic, and definitely unhinged.

3

TheElusiveGoose10 t1_j6pfuzw wrote

MOVE FORWARD. DO NOT SEND! don't break up with someone and then something stupid like this. Like what??? What a way to try and feed your ego and have the last word.

you broke up with her. Start acting like it.

3

mk-dean t1_j6pckm7 wrote

Stop this Ross Geller bullshit

2

kvetcherkit t1_j6pebvl wrote

No, this is corny as hell. Leave her alone.

2

tratra2010 t1_j6pensr wrote

Just reads as really toxic to me. Bit manipulative. Did they ask why you broke up with them when you first did it??

2

Shylights t1_j6pg7nb wrote

Do not send this. You broke up with her. In the message you say she was checked out. If you two were going to fix things it would have been when you're together not right after you break up.

2

DwigtGroot t1_j6pi7hv wrote

Definitely a 22 yo move. 40 year old you would slap you for sending this…

2

fortunata17 t1_j6pivym wrote

Nope. This is giving me second hand embarrassment. If I got a message like this from an ex who broke up with me I’d think they were unstable and that I dodged a bullet.

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1

Minxmorty t1_j6pf7yo wrote

If I were her and I received this text I’d be really upset. You broke up with her and I imagine when you did you explained to her why, so it’s redundant. However, if you didn’t explain to her why you broke up, she straight up didn’t ask.

1

Alert-Fly9952 t1_j6ph36n wrote

Not to be the disagreeable voice, but I disagree. If she lost the vibe, well, it really won't matter to her.

1

jameshowlett1876 t1_j6phcsk wrote

Hard no, this isn't for her it's for you. You made your choice now live with it. Trust me she doesn't want or need this.

1

mechtil_d t1_j6pj2tf wrote

The only thing that’s gonna happen is that she’s gonna show her friends or perhaps even her new bf what you wrote and they’re gonna laugh about it. Don’t do it.

1

euromay t1_j6pjtp0 wrote

No. Don’t send it. It makes things worse.

1

DistraugtlyDistractd t1_j6owqlk wrote

I want to tell her this because I want things to work, but she didn’t seem to value me anymore. It seemed one sided in some aspects.

I want things to work and would work everyday on our relationship for it to work. It was just poor communication that caused the issues.

She said during the breakup maybe in the future we can get back together.

Idk if that is something you just say though.

I want to be with her but I want her to value me instead of me having to ask. I guess this would be me asking once again to work things out.

I just want her to know its when she is ready to commit rather than treat me poorly

−7

TheRivalxx t1_j6oz5hf wrote

If that’s the case then she will be the one that needs to reach out to you. Otherwise you’re giving her the power as in she will think she can have you whenever she wants

8

DistraugtlyDistractd t1_j6oznge wrote

Do you think she would reach out even though I ended it with her? Is it a “rule,” not to text back the person who dumped you? So I would send this so she knows she can reach out.

I see your point though

−2

Similar_Corner8081 t1_j6p80kc wrote

As a woman if you broke up with me I wouldn’t text you back. I would move on with my life. You made a decision that was best for you now I would do the same.

11

sleepingfox307 t1_j6p9g8x wrote

Then it's already on her and she knows that.

Move on mate.

This will rub salt in her wounds and leave you waiting and angsty for a response that may likely never come.

Leaving the porch light on is one thing, but this is like leaving the door wide open after kicking someone out, it sends totally mixed messages and it's just going to cause more hurt.

Let it go, move on.

8

DistraugtlyDistractd t1_j6paj4r wrote

We did end things on a good note. I said pretty much the same thing, I broke it off because I didn't feel like she prioritized me and was distancing herself from me. We wouldn't go on dates and when I was down visiting her she spent some of the time with some guys besides me on my last day at her university.

I said I want someone who is stoked to see me and chooses me first over some other guys. She said she felt the same way about breaking up for a while, we talked some more and she said hopefully when the time is right we will be back together and that there is a good chance we will get back together. We both said I love you, hugged, I gave her a last kiss, and left. I am just hurting now man, I know this isn't a good idea, but I just wish we didn't have to break up.

1

sleepingfox307 t1_j6pbaoh wrote

Sigh.

I know that pain all too well man, it sucks.

But it sounds like it was mutual and that you both have said all you need to say. Look I totally understand wanting to reach out that one last time, really I do... but it doesn't bring the closure you think it does, trust me.

One day at a time, bro, just keep going.

2