Submitted by [deleted] t3_10q38p6 in relationship_advice
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Submitted by [deleted] t3_10q38p6 in relationship_advice
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i agree. part of me thinks someone we know is behind it but we have no idea who.
The scam I’ve heard is have a fake sexy lady profile, flirt with someone, trade nudes & then blackmail the other person & try to make them pay to get their nudes back.
Can confirm. Had 2 friends this happened to. Felt so sorry for them being violated like that. HOWEVER. These scammers almost NEVER actually send the videos out because it draws attention to the scammers. They just try and blackmail money out of you. Course they might post them if you piss them off in chat during the blackmailing but not likely. Point is, in this specific scenario I can’t imagine it was one of those scams.
I did wonder if maybe he was chatting up randoms on Instagram and one of them saw he was married and posted them out but honestly no normal person would do that. It’s illegal in most places, so I’m not entirely sure what situation he got himself in. If he got hacked then there’s more chance it’s just an asshole looking to do asshole things
Out of the 3 people I know that this has happened to, 2 of them did get their nudes shared to all of their Facebook friends. One scammer even made new accounts 2 different times to send the nudes out again after being blocked by everyone in the group chat. He had to make a brand new completely private Facebook.
Ouch, I’m sorry to hear that happened to them. Honestly sounds like real bad luck because generally it’s true they don’t usually send out the nudes. Best action is to block and ignore all messages straight away rather than engage with them. My friends privatised their socials, changed passwords and posted to say they were hacked and to ignore any private messages received. One of my friends did however say “go for it I’ve been looking for that last push to kill myself” before blocking them. So maybe that scared the scammer off as that would cause a lot of media attention to these scams
Yeah it really sucks. The one who had them shared multiple times is neurodivergent and gets a majority of their social interaction through social media, so it's been very hard on them. I wish there was more that could be done about these types of scams but it seems like the internet is the wild west these days.
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Yep this happened to me on a dating app once, girl was sending me pics and we were supposed to meet up then boom she’s threatening to send shit to my fam, fortunately I called the bluff, none of them really use social media anyways and tbh I’d rather tell them some wackjob girl tried to extort money out of me than to actually pay someone over that bs, never heard anything about it after that
Go to the subreddit r/scams .
The ACTUAL scam, not the lie he told you, is that it’s a young woman asking for his nudes and then she’ll send hers.
Then they scam you into paying them over and over and over.
Your man cheats
Did he show you the Instagram messages where the person reached out offering money for them?
no. he said he blocked then and everything and the person that started the DM group was a different account. i also thought that was suspicious so i asked if he was cheating on me and that’s how they got the pics and he swore up and down no.
And you believed all of this?
obviously not or i wouldn’t have made this post.
So access his account and go see which accounts he has blocked. While you are checking into things check bank accounts for any suspicious charges and the phone bill for any numbers her frequently calls or texts.
Yeah he's lying hard.
This never happened don't let him think you believe this bs
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Okay you need to seriously read what you wrote - you asked him if he was cheating and he said no- Umm so he will just send nudes to anyone that asks??? That makes no sense. Of course he was having a sexting conversation!!! Please don’t close your eyes on this subject an innocent person does not send nude pictures of themselves to anyone !!!
Oh. He's lying. This was sexual.
He was blackmailed after sending his nudes. That's the scam.
He is definitely not telling you the whole story, or even the truth
If you block an account on instagram, you can still see your DMs with them (this also works with a deleted profile). If the dms really aren’t there anymore, he deleted them because he didn’t want you to see.
He probably is not cheating outside of sending a dick pic to a complete stranger. Check out r/scams things along this line are an epidemic these days. They fish for enough info to be able to search people on social media so they can threaten to expose it to friends and family. If you post about it on scams they can better explain what is happening.
Your husband should ignore them and apologize one thousand times over for sending a dick pic to some old man in the phillipines
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Okay I don’t think leaving him is appropriate no matter what others say ! You both need to sit down and talk. Work on it together !!
No. What happens is there’s a sexting exchange, and he’s sending nudes, she’s sending nudes: only thing is she isn’t who she said she was, then blackmails him into sending money or the nudes would get leaked.
They often proceed to threaten revealing it to all your friends and family on social media. They demand payment via gift cards or other means if not. This is one of the most common scams going right now.
It’s most likely a old man in some third world country playing a risqué young lady. Sometimes they will even lay child porn on them by later revealing they are not 18.
This sort of thing happened to my cousin. I got a message in a group with our grandparents, uncles, and his parents. From what I gathered, he sent nudes on Snapchat and when he wouldn’t pay her, she sent them to everyone.
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Yeah…he was sexting. Someone tried to blackmail him. He got caught.
Your man was cheating
His explanation is a lie.
Your husband is 25 and way too old to fall for something like that. I think he was actually having an affair, the woman found out about you, possibly blackmailed him, and then exposed him to everyone when he said no. You have no proof of what happened since he blocked them and deleted all the messages.
You’d be surprised what scams seemingly intelligent people will fall for, but that is definitely not the case here.
I knew someone that fell for this scam. The person invited EVERYONE that was his instagram friend to this group chat and exposed it. It was just a shirtless picture. I was included in that list of people.
He then downplayed it like he had no idea how they got that picture...smh
Strongly disagree. Anyone regardless of age can be scammed.
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This was not a trap he fell into. He was trying to sext with someone, they blackmailed him, and he refused to pay. Hon, have some self respect. Dump this cheater. Especially because you uave kids...otherwise you are teaching them that it is okay to treat your partner this way.
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It's never a one time thing. He's only sorry he got caught. Throw him with the trash and build yourself up. Anyone that disrespects you like that isn't worth your time. Let alone your love.
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I'm going to echo what a lot of people are saying here except I won't necessarily say you should leave him.
He was obviously sexting with someone and they got him to send nudes. They were probably blackmailing him for money. Depending on what you define as cheating, he may have been cheating on you. At the very least, he is lying and being inappropriate with a stranger. Deleting messages before you can see them is so suspicious.
I’m in one of the reconciliation groups on Reddit. This is very fresh and raw at the moment for you.
Here are a few things I would be asking: Is he sorry because he got caught? Is this the first time? Is he willing to work on your marriage?
You don’t even need to ask any of these. You can just say ‘No. I’m done.’ And that’s absolutely okay too.
Do what you need for you.
He's covering his tracks. I personally think he sent them because he wanted to. Good luck
How much money was he supposed to get?
I don’t think he fell for a scam. Often the scams will say they will send out the nudes unless you send money. They typically never do send out the nudes since it is a crime in a lot of places.
It is likely that he cheated and the mistress sent this out to expose him. And now he’s been caught is is desperately trying to change the narrative to something that would benefit him more.
Seems odd he just decided to do this 1 time. I'd worry about the other sent out nudes you know nothing about. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. There's a saying. For every rat you see, there are many more hiding in the woodwork.
yeah he’s cheating……. message the sender with his excuse see what they say. you have nothing to lose by doing this. if they say he’s having an affair ask for more proof but honestly i don’t really think you need it!
Bless your heart.
Before you decide to stay, you need to see how far this went. It’s hard to believe this is the one and only time he’s sent nudes.
Your husband really thinks his nudes are worth money?
Sus.
It’s usually a hot lady saying you send then I’ll feel comfortable sending.
The man sends because he is thirsty and then she blackmails for money.
Even if you block someone doesn’t mean the convo is deleted, unless he deleted it.
Dude tried to chat up and swap nudes and got played. Now you’re being played.
I know a few guys that have fallen for this scam and these men are smart, run their own businesses and are even single. The scammer sent them to sisters and mums.
Nope
Im so sorry this is happening, but I don’t think he got scammed for nudes. I think he sent the nudes voluntarily and he made up this scammer story.
Scammers want money, not nudes lol
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LEAVE. how is this a question.
If you really want to give him another chance then go for it but he’ll need to let you have full access to all his stuff full stop.
You sure you want to stay married to a man who not only happily cheats and sends nudes to other people…but also one stupid enough to believe he’d get paid for his nude pictures?
Really? He thought he would make money??
I smell BS.
Lmao oh honey.
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You're right. It is a scam they fall for. I have seen it happen to a guy once, as the scammer tagged me in an instagram group to out him. I haven't talked to the dude in years. It was wild.
But you have every right to be wary of his intentions. This doesn't seem like a first time offense.
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CompletelyChaotic t1_j6njsf5 wrote
Random strangers actually trick people into sending nudes by saying they’ll pay them for it just to send them out to all their friends and family? Seems like a lot of work to do for no personal benefit other than seeing someone’s life ruined.