ThrowraImportant_ OP t1_j6mzeyy wrote on January 31, 2023 at 2:10 PM

I agree it’s unhealthy to be hot and cold. It’s toxic to maintain this type of contact without clear intention to what she wants in future. I also have said that I have feelings and boundaries same as her. It’s not solely up to her but the ball is def in her court as she knows I want to work it out. It just feels like she wants to work it out,spend time together ,start to open up but then pull back and enforce the idea that she is unsure and focused on herself

AllInkalicious t1_j6nbayj wrote on January 31, 2023 at 3:33 PM

You agree it's unhealthy so must agree it's also unfair, yet you still give her the ability to control it all. Where is your agency? And do you really think this dance isn't somehow affecting your children?

Take a firm stand. You make the choice. It doesn't need to be the end of anything other than this back and forth on her terms. It needn't be unkind or brutal, but come from a place of love and friendship.

I know you want to reconcile, but that takes two and a lot of work, and right now you have a co-parent who decides daily whether they're in a dating mood or not.