Should I 25F continue talking to this guy 25M to see if he changes.

Submitted by Universitygotmecrazy t3_10q5mrp in relationship_advice

I (25F) recently started talking to a man over a social media app (25M), about three weeks ago. We have met in real life of course but we have not been on any dates, we haven't even said if we are dating or going to be in a relationship or not.

So tell me why after three weeks of only talking to each other, he is already asking me to come over to his house to watch a movie and asking me about sex, I already turned down the movie and the sex offer and he calmed down and we were talking good again, now he started back up with it again, saying he is going to make sure I'm comfortable and he won't do anything out of the way, he also said he won't rush it but then why bring it up. I mean I do like our conversations and we do have things in common, but I don't want to have sex with him, when I only have known him for three weeks and we haven't started dating yet.

I already feel like anything with this man is not going to go anywhere and is already hopeless, so Reddit what do you think?

Sorry for any grammar mistakes.

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Outside-Ad-1677 t1_j6nyinx wrote

If you already feel like it’s not going anywhere why are you wasting your time and his time? It’s obvious what he wants and it’s not what you want.

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Maddiesmydog t1_j6nysnn wrote

Your wanting a relationship he’s wanting sex only.

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YourRAResource t1_j6nzd41 wrote

The biggest problem here is the lack of communication. If you want something real, you should have (and should) tell him exactly that. You said you started talking to the guy over social media, but what, are you just hoping for the best? That's not how relationships work. You need to use your words.

So now, he's told you exactly what he wants and what this is. That doesn't make him a bad person. He's being completely honest about what he wants. You said no to a movie and sex, but nothing else. It's like you're expecting that declining that will make him "wake up" and ask you out on a date and want a relationship.

You can only know where this is going if you ask. Stop guessing. Good luck.

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asianinindia t1_j6o3vzg wrote

You're right. It's not going to go anywhere since he's bringing up topics that you said you weren't currently comfortable with. He's disregarding your boundaries and that is a sure way to be a predatory partner. A relationship with him would suck. Don't waste your time.

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ayylmao2016 t1_j6ob1hu wrote

Is it really so crazy to be all "Netflix and chill?" From him after three weeks of dancing around it? He probably thought it was time to make a move. At the very least I don't thinks it's that far out of left field. As for dating, how are you not dating after all this time and all the chats? In any event its pretty clear that you aren't interested. He will most likely give up soon if you don't have a straightforward conversation about what yall are doing.

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ghosts-on-the-ohio t1_j6os0vz wrote

If he wants sex this early then that's what he wants. Nothing you say will make him stop wanting it. My BF and I didn't do the deed till we were together about seven months. Maybe that's extreme to some people but I am so happy we waited and took things slow. It is not too late to cut your losses and find someone who wants the same things you do.

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