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DanInBham1 t1_j6p6a47 wrote

I don’t know what to tell you to do. But I will tell you not to continue a relationship forcing him to suppress his feelings. Do that and you can get married but you will also get divorced. I’m not bisexual but I imagine that if he doesn’t explore at least a little then you can never be certain of your relationship. Is it possible you can explore this together? Could you invite a guy to have sex with both of you? Maybe try swinging? I completely get it that you don’t want to be in an open marriage. But there are ways to keep the door closed but unlocked.

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megtato t1_j6p6ty6 wrote

Probably should have added this but we tried an open thing (another female) which he basically set up without me knowing, (she was my really good friend at the time) and suddenly it was like woah okay so there’s 3 of us now? And I hated it, there would be absolutely no way I could be okay with him sleeping with anybody else regardless of gender while we’re not only dating but literal wedding planning.

This ended horrifically and I became a whole other person, it wasn’t nice.

He has autism and blames basically every mistake on the fact that he’s autistic so I never feel like I can actually be mad at him.

Now I’m typing this all out it sounds like a horrible relationship but he’s honestly my soulmate

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DanInBham1 t1_j6p8rdx wrote

I wouldn’t say it sounds horrible. Challenging not horrible. Mental illness is an explanation not an excuse. So you are allowed to be mad. If someone unintentionally hurts you then you are justified in still feeling hurt. We learn to live with a lot of regrets in life. To me this would be a big regret for him to live with. I don’t see how he could live with this regret and not be angry or resentful or even unfaithful. You sound like a good and loving couple, so it’s not easy to just say “break up.” But it feels like that’s what I want to say.

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