Formal_Self_8191 OP t1_j6mgl0o wrote on January 31, 2023 at 11:07 AM

Reply to comment by Ambitious-Cover-1130 in He (39M) grabbed me and pushed me down, but I (28F) was the aggressor. Where do we go from here? by Formal_Self_8191

I was afraid to hear this answer, but deep down I knew it was the bigger possibility. I am truly struggling with the fact that I “attacked” first. Like I brought this on myself, he would’ve had no reason to do what he did if I didn’t start it. If only I just backed away and cooled down.

victoraug19 t1_j6mt0tl wrote on January 31, 2023 at 1:19 PM

Yeah because you did. You are the abuser in this one op.

[deleted] t1_j6mhvwo wrote on January 31, 2023 at 11:24 AM

[removed]

CuteDerpster t1_j6mz5fq wrote on January 31, 2023 at 2:08 PM

You didn't "attack" him first

You attacked him first.

Dont play it down.

Not once in your post do you mention that he got violent other than pushing you down.

You on the other hand were throwing stuff and kicking him.

Formal_Self_8191 OP t1_j6o8uko wrote on January 31, 2023 at 6:59 PM

Yes, I think I was kicking. After I was on the ground and being held down. That part is fuzzy still but that’s how I remember my kicking coming into play because the rest of the time I was walking around trying to gather myself.

Ambitious-Cover-1130 t1_j6msnqu wrote on January 31, 2023 at 1:16 PM

Throwing a box of paper is not comparable to physical manhandling. Stop feeling guilty.

Edit.

You could argue that you started the altercation- still one has to argue that men are not allowed to manhandle women. It is the same reason that a professional boxer will get a very hard sentence if he is a street fight and someone gets hurt. The boxer has an advantage. A grown man has the physical advantage (as you see) towards women.