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SleepFlower80 t1_j6olclr wrote

I think expecting access to someone’s phone and/or laptop is a red flag. People are allowed privacy, even in relationships. Him not allowing you access to either isn’t ringing alarm bells.

At this point, you have nothing. No evidence, just a feeling. You could either talk to him or just keep an eye on things and see how they pan out.

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yowen2000 t1_j6olvf3 wrote

Early on in a relationship I agree with you, but at some point you have to be comfortable enough with each other to let your s/o briefly use your device.

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SleepFlower80 t1_j6om3y2 wrote

No, you don’t. There’s absolutely no reason for any partner to ever have my passcodes. I was with my ex for 12 years and neither of us had access to the others’s devices, nor did we ever ask.

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yowen2000 t1_j6orobi wrote

I let my girlfriend play games on my phone, use it to take pictures and a few other things in situations where her phone isn't handy. She does the same for me. We trust each other, and neither of us uses it as an opportunity to go digging through texts, browser history or anything else.

At some point saying "no" to "can I use your phone to do <insert innocuous task>" get's weird.

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[deleted] OP t1_j6olmvd wrote

well, i dont expect it. what i meant when i dont have my stuff and i ask "hey can i borrow that real quick"
and he always says no. I believe in privacy....but still hes allowed to look at my computer or phone and use them when he asks

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