keyboardstatic t1_j6hbf4u wrote on January 30, 2023 at 9:09 AM

Because personal relationships can and do with many people have underlying sexual tension. And most people know this.

There is also always a chance that one of these sides for eaither of you ends up being a better fit then you or her.

So that makes your rightfully feel threatened.

Having platonic friendships are not "sides" with clear boundaries.

It sounds like she wants an open relationship. And you do not.

breachofmorals OP t1_j6hdcai wrote on January 30, 2023 at 9:37 AM

I never thought of it that way, that I could feel threatened. I know for a fact they sleep with each other, so it's not a platonic friendship.

Maybe I don't want an open relationship, but I can see myself having sides, too. That's just hypocritical of me.

keyboardstatic t1_j6hef1j wrote on January 30, 2023 at 9:53 AM

So your in an open relationship.

This eaither works or it doesn't.

It works by both parties approaching that they honestly want the other to be totally fulfilled and happy while prioritising each other but being very very accepting of each other.

Jealousy is a difficult emotion to navigate as is fear. Both are natural reactions to someone you love sleeping with others.

Why not make it a three way or share your sides and feel more equal about it

but what happens if their side rejects you... Thats why having extremely clear pre agreed boundaries or just being totally open...

There's always the fear the partner falls in love more then you with a side and leaves. Of course this situation is always possible in any relationship.

Its just can seam more possible when sex intimacy ie basically secondary complete relationships are going on side by side.

keyboardstatic t1_j6hf2f9 wrote on January 30, 2023 at 10:02 AM

My personal experience as a outsider regarding open gay and lesbian relationships is that some form very strong fairly long lastingly group orgy relationships that function like extremly close friendships groups

they fall apart spectacularly, painfully, and savagely

Because favourites, better at sex, jealousy, feeling left out, actually being left out, conflicting desires about housing, children, rivalry, companion, boredom, conflict regarding drug use, lack of emotional maturity...

Unfortunately most people find that they really want to be the center of one person's whole world. And it's very hard to have that in mutil sexual open relationships especially when your young.