After half a year she cheated on me first physically and then after I found out and she promised to change emotionally. I decided to stay with her but made myself a promise to not ever accept cheating ever again. Now around 3 and a half years in she cheated again emotionally by texting and going on basically a date. I know that I should logically leave and that that is the right choice but I can't get myself to do it. I love her and miss her

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gonnagetcancelled t1_j6fmq8u wrote on January 30, 2023 at 12:09 AM

You know how it felt when you found out? Get used to that feeling.

There's zero chance she stops this behavior. And at this point you know this already, so your choices are: The pain of a breakup which will suck but eventually be over. Or the recurring pain of being cheated on until you're eventually cast aside...which gives you extra pain and then you get to go though the first option anyhow.

I'm sorry to put it so bluntly, but if someone had done that with me when I was about your age it would have saved me an incredible amount of heartache and the time it took to unwind some unhealthy defensive behaviors I developed.

I know working it out is viable for some people. I've never seen it work though. I'm 100% against any form of cheating and 100% against staying after such a thing has happened. I'm almost twice your age and have seen it with friends, experienced it, watched it happen publicly...the 1% chance that things will get better will not happen for you. rip the bandaid off. Deal with the suck. Find someone worth your time.

Good luck.

Much-Butterfly647 OP t1_j6fnorz wrote on January 30, 2023 at 12:15 AM

I really appreciate you taking time out of your day to write this answer

gonnagetcancelled t1_j6foo83 wrote on January 30, 2023 at 12:22 AM

I've been there. Like I said, I wish someone would have hit me with straight talk at the time. I might not have listened, but I also might have.

Good luck to you whatever you decide to do.

Much-Butterfly647 OP t1_j6fp0w9 wrote on January 30, 2023 at 12:24 AM

Thank you

Oohkbutnotokay t1_j6fowha wrote on January 30, 2023 at 12:24 AM

You get the love you accept. If this is what you want… knock yourself out. At this point she has shown you she is a wreck and you keep choosing to be the crash test dummy that gives the boyfriend experience.

It will not stop. Merely go through periods you cannot see conclusively it is happening. If you dont respect yourself, not sure why you expect her to.