thirtyeighthours t1_j6hbikq wrote
You didn't love her and you can not say you "genuinely care about her" after actively making choices that would hurt her. Love is a deep level of care and immense respect. You are attached to her maybe, but you obviously have no idea what love is.
Leave her alone, stay single until you can offer someone the kind of love that you KNOW they deserve.
[deleted] OP t1_j6hc6x4 wrote
pornography has been an immense struggle for me my entire life, i had never been confronted about it in any previous relationship until now. And even less had a desire at actually look at myself and reflect on how to be better for someone i care about. Maybe i dont know what love is but what i share with her is definitely more then attachment and at that level isnt it worth trying to be better
thirtyeighthours t1_j6hck33 wrote
The problem is that you think you can explain away your actions. If you can even consider doing this behind someone's back, you do not respect that person. You lack empathy and accountability. Take a good hard look at yourself.
[deleted] OP t1_j6hdf8u wrote
Im not trying to explain anything away, i know what ive done and that it will more likely then not cost me someone i care about, just trying to give you the whole picture, obviously the bad is going to be remembered 99% of the time compared to the good but you cant tell me i dont care about her without witnessing the other 15 months of our relationship
thirtyeighthours t1_j6he4d6 wrote
No, this is where you're wrong. Love means never intentionally hurting your partner. One bad decision (not a mistake) DOES over-shadow the other 99%.
Your ex can (and so can other women) find a partner who never intentionally hurts her. In your next relationship you need to make sure you don't do anything that would hurt that person or that would cause them to end it.
b_from_the_block t1_j6hcl4m wrote
Be better but do it so you don’t fuck yo again. Don’t do it to win her back because it ain’t gonna work
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