I don't think there was a connection romantically. These are just my observations I made and I was hoping for people to talk me out of it :) I feel more sad and confused about her getting irritated by things that weren't meant to be seducing or in any way romantically and I hate that I might have made her feel uncomfortable, but so did she in the end after I disclosed myself. I expected nothing to change, but she changed her behaviour and for example denied my request she had agreed upon prior to my disclosure but then when she saw me being hurt because I had specifically requested to talk about the topic (during the lesson) for my sake to gain more knowledge on it - she was overly nice to me (all within 1 hour) which inevitably caused confusing on a basic human connection.

I think I am hurt in a sense that for one I might have gotten on someone's nerve with my mere presence and even showing someone my appreciation is annoying., secondly it's all a facade and you get treated nicely as a patient but in the end she doesn't "like" me, I am also very sensitive if people change behaviours towards me, I am a instable mind of state, so it's not good.

I want to let go, but it became so much more difficult now.