Silent_Impressions t1_j6n90w4 wrote on January 31, 2023 at 3:18 PM

Reply to comment by buffy6949395 in My (20F) Boyfriend (19M) of 2yrs Tipped 10%. Am I Being Overdramatic? by [deleted]

Ok great but hes still 19. He wanted to do something special for you on your birthday with what he could afford. I get your worried about the server but there really was no reason to bring up the tip. I mean even if you felt that the server was undertipped, just got back to the restaurant the next day and tip the server without him there. idk I'm just saying that there are better ways to handle it

buffy6949395 t1_j6neo42 wrote on January 31, 2023 at 3:54 PM

and i was 19 the day before yesterday. i love that he wanted to do something special but it was never expected or asked. i definitely agree i should have handled it better, but i just felt bad for the waitress, especially having worked as one myself

Silent_Impressions t1_j6ngghl wrote on January 31, 2023 at 4:06 PM

I completely understand. My view point is also from someone who waited tables in college. I was poor as hell but on special occasions I tried to do the best I could for the people I cared about. He likely was thinking the same.

Misommar1246 t1_j6nio4m wrote on January 31, 2023 at 4:19 PM

You’re strongarming your boyfriend over this at your birthday. Whether you approve or not, he organized it, he picked it and he can pay whatever he wants. And no, you can’t just butt in to make up for the rest. If you are paying, you can pay whatever you want but if you’re going to pressure other people into what you believe is right, you will lose them.

idleigloo t1_j6ngsve wrote on January 31, 2023 at 4:08 PM

Ok, why is he so passive aggressive that he's swearing to himself?

I totally get it. It's more than the tip. You told him your preference for your birthday and not only did he ignore it, he refused to let you make it right.

Honestly your bf does not sound compatible with me and I'd have left him. He obviously cares more about his self serving image of your birthday than listen to what you actually want.

He also made it pretty clear that he probably never intends to tip well at all. This is who he is. If you think you can make it work then try it from that angle, accepting him being cheap and suggesting to him that he let you pick up his slack...or is he just determined to short servers?