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[deleted] OP t1_j2byek0 wrote

> He is a good man, but he is allowing me to go into debt, and just fail financially.

> he will make my life a living hell

This...is not a good man.

You're married with a child but have to ask him for money for household bills? You're a SAHM but he leaves you with no access to finances and thinks you have "no needs"? He "assumes" you're making money? How does he not know anything about your business?

This marriage sounds extremely dysfunctional to me. You said it yourself, your life would be easier if you were single. It's laughable that he thinks he can get full custody when you're the primary parent. That's not how it works. Talk to a divorce lawyer and free yourself of this awful dude.

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Stunning_Appeal_2343 t1_j2bzcs3 wrote

I really want to ask my mom and sister about this but they always side with him… I feel because “they know” I have good savings they will “assume its ok for now while the money runs out” but I cant run out of money… I need cash flow for my business… he does know what I do and he knows why I am in the whole this year. Edit: he pays for rent. I have to pay utilities and my car, and I am the one who buys the baby things (he only bought 2 items out of the 140 we needed) I feel played… but at the same time, he is not abusive… at least not that I can realize But then again, Ive been abused so much maybe I dont even see it anymore?

I dont know

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[deleted] OP t1_j2c0mq0 wrote

You shouldn't have to dip into your savings at all to pay for household expenses and necessities for your SHARED child! That's ridiculous. When one person is a SAHP, the money the breadwinner earns is family money. Someone who loves and respects you would not be watching you drown while he hoards his paycheck. It doesn't matter what your mom and sister think about your financial situation, this isn't about money but partnership. Your husband clearly does not see you as a partner.

> at the same time, he is not abusive

Is this really where the bar is? "Not abusive"? I personally think that threatening to make your life a living hell if you leave IS abusive, and the money situation certainly sounds like pretty cut-and-dry financial abuse, but even if he weren't strictly abusive, don't you think you deserve a bit more than that?

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