YogurtclosetOk6197 t1_j2fbdvm wrote on December 31, 2022 at 9:13 PM

Reply to comment by trilliumsummer in (34F)(34M) she said my needs don’t matter. I said if she honestly believes that we shouldn’t be together. by ThrowRA_tireddad22

I think some of what you are saying is accurate. I think we are all tired of the SAHM vs working mom/parent argument though. I’ve personally done both. I can say for a fact that both are equally challenging - just in different ways.

What I find alarming with this guy’s post is the wife actually saying “my needs are more important than yours.” She isn’t even saying that their needs are different. Just point blank that hers are more important.

That smacks of entitlement and arrogance.

OP, your needs are also important. This whole “happy wife, happy life” thing needs to be left in 2022.

trilliumsummer t1_j2fjqrm wrote on December 31, 2022 at 10:15 PM

Well especially with more info it seems like OP gets the sahm struggles and is doing what he can to give her alone time, but she’s saying it’s not enough while also not reciprocating at all. The whole one persons need is another want and hard to determine a baseline of which is more important without knowing what we’re talking about.

I just wasn’t sure whether her needs were just 30 minutes alone to talk to a friend vs his need to be in the garage for half a day - which in that case the needs aren’t equal. But it seems like it’s the reverse - she’s getting a higher level of needs accommodated than him. Asking for a 5th candy bar stating she needs it when he’s just asking for one candy bar.