Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

AutoModerator t1_j2du6pn wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

ApplesxandxCinnamon t1_j2du8em wrote

Wow. So let me get this straight.

This man made you feel lower than dirt. You changed yourself for him. Now he's upset that you're trying to get revenge in him. Do I have that right?

Why the actual fuck are you with someone who talked to you like this and treated you like this?

I'm not saying it's bad that you lost weight. Losing 100lbs is a huge deal. Congratulations. But this whole man is a red flag parade, and you feeling the need to get back at him shows you still hold resentment toward him.

Do you think this is a healthy dynamic? Bc it's not.

And then he threatened you. "If you're doing this to get back at me you won't like how this ends." Oh so he could chase other girls, fap in bed to them, flirt with them online, message ex girlfriends, refuse to touch you, verbally abuse you, but you posted sexy pics online - the exact same thing he was getting off to - and suddenly it's not OK??

I don't even expect you to see how hypocritical and disgusting this is. One thing I learned is that people get on here expecting advice to fix broken situations that they refuse to leave. And that's their choice. I won't advise against it.

Instead I'm gonna go hug my bf and tell him I love him. He would never talk to me or treat me like this.

I know my worth. OP you need to find yours.

7

OldSackofBeef t1_j2dv42e wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#1,227,712)

None of this answers the questions Why are you still with this abusive asshole?

We don’t care why the abusive asshole is an abusive asshole because at the end of the day he’s an abusive asshole. Therapy isn’t working for him. Either he’s a great actor in sessions or his therapist sucks.

So… why are you still with this abusive asshole?

5

_iron_butterfly_ t1_j2dvgb5 wrote

You look fantastic! Those are progress photos...anyone that's lost a significant amount of weight should take them! They are so encouraging to you and to others. Hes worried that you're going to leave him because you probably should have a long time ago. Even if you're posting them to spite him...Kudos to you my friend! What he won't do for you...another man happily will.

2

_______someone t1_j2dxfwf wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#1,227,670)

Well then, you have your answer, which you yourself are aware of. What do you expect from Reddit? Validation? You won't get any.

He seems to have been a bit of a prick before but, after reading your whole post and this comment, I am confident you didn't paint a full picture and were a bit of a prick yourself.

Stop getting back at your husband. Start loving him. That's the advice.

2

themanfromUNCLE100 t1_j2dxpwk wrote

First off congratulations on your weight loss journey and you look fantastic. I had been on my weight loss journey back in my early 20s and had reddit been around I'd have posted pics. Now you've to do a little self reflection are posting pics to get revenge on him or just sharing your journey? It was definitely wrong on your husband's part to make you feel so small and make unattractive. But any guy would have a problem if random men remarks on their so. So what you ultimate objective get back at your hubby fir screwing up and show him how attractive you're rn.

1

CrazyCatLadyForEva t1_j2dzp6u wrote

You are looking incredible and your photos, at least on this profile, are not provocative but show your amazing success. You should be proud of yourself!

Your husband sounds incredibly abusive tbh. Trauma doesn’t excuse abusive behavior. Have you ever talked to him like he did to you just because he was obese? How would he have reacted to that? My guess is, he wouldn’t have tolerated it. Nor would he tolerate you lusting after other men, correct?

Men and women see when someone else is attractive, that’s normal. But no, many of us don’t go out of our way to initiate contact with these people. It’s more an acknowledgment that someone is good looking. Doing it this obvious and maliciously is also something most people wouldn’t do, because it’s disrespectful and hurtful. And then all the abusive and degrading comments? No. Just no. Most people do not treat their partners this way.

His threat to me sounds like he’s either wanting to divorce or to cheat on you, if you continue posting. So now his abusive behavior has just shifted focus, but still continues.

You deserve respect, kindness and love. What you guys have is a toxic cycle of wanting to hurt each other and him being verbally abusive. Do you want the next 10 years to continue living like that?

Maybe try marriage counseling to work on communication with professional help. But if it were me, I’d probably stop investing into this relationship and focus on leaving instead.

1