Submitted by tas241 t3_1004g71 in relationship_advice
I’m always second best or not enough in dating. They never have “forever feelings” for me. I’m reeling from my last relationship where he (45/m) checks so many boxes but doesn’t see a future with me. We dated for 7-8 months and it slowly trickled into a situationship - but one where we actually became the best of friends.
I’d like to think I’m not the one because of the trauma of his previous relationships/marriage and my gut tells me once I’m gone, he will come back…but I don’t want to wait around - and I won’t.
I truly believe in my soul I am SUCH a catch. I’m kind, generous, confident, successful with my own business, educated, pretty, outgoing and people generally love me or hate me - there’s no in between. Most people that hate me do so because of my bubbly personality (it can probably be overwhelming/ annoying at times) so I know I can’t control that / I’ve accepted it.
I am such a giver and we always did things for each other and now I’m trying to remember to do the thing for MYSELF when I catch myself wanting to do for him.
I have such intense waves of thinking I can handle the separation but then the “what if’s” crash over me and I have a meltdown.
I’ve done the whole “focus on me” phase. I know how to be single. I have learned to love myself (most of the time anyway). I honestly feel like my clock is ticking and I don’t have time to waste on any more self-work or a long healing process over this breakup.
What are some coping mechanisms, quotes, or effective ways to heal after a breakup?
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