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Can you get a white noise machine to set by your door? Take the call in your car?

She’s being pretty rude to not give you some space and privacy for this. Seems nosy or she’s worried you’re going to say something about her.

I don’t have a car atm so it’s gonna have to be in the bedroom. I was thinking about putting something in the room that makes noise but I’m worried that it’ll be distracting when I’m trying to hear the therapist

So the white noise machine goes outside your door and it's not loud enough to where the therapist would hear it but it will make it impossible for your gf to hear acting you and your therapist are discussing

that might work then I’ll have to look into it. It’ll be too late to get one by my first session but might be an option for future sessions

Your girl is being rude and disrespectful by not giving you space to have your PRIVATE therapy session. She needs to respect your right to privacy

Use a headset/earbuds then you won’t have any trouble hearing. Test your setup a few minutes prior to the session. Then no one can hear what the therapist says.

A white noise machine would go just outside your door to muffle anything you say to therapist.

Oh yeah I’m definitely gonna be having earphones in, I’m more concerned with her hearing everything I’ll be saying

Tell gf first session is why gf refuses to give me privacy and what should I do with her?
Can you do zoom on your phone in a car or park bench? I know it isn’t ideal, but she isn’t very reasonable. First topic for therapy!!!

No I don’t currently have a car and there isn’t anywhere nearby I’d be able to get to in time since my apppintment is 5 mins after I finish work since I work from home

Just play white noise on your phone (assuming you will zoom on a computer) and set it by the door. You don’t need a special machine. I play a thunderstorm podcast or a recording of rain on my tent on nights that I can’t get to sleep. There are tons of podcasts, or you can download an app like Calm. They have free white noise as well as paid options.

Easy. Get headphones, download zoom and go for a walk. Explain to counselor what you have to do to get privacy. They will understand.

You got a lot of pragmatic and wonderful advice here but I really have to ask: is your girlfriend against you seeing a therapist? My partner is a therapist and during Covid he also had to switch to zoom and I was working from home as well. We were in different rooms of course but whenever I even came close to his office I put earbuds in, same for his supervisions or own therapy sessions- I would feel really uncomfortable hearing something so private! What is going on in your relationship?

No she is supportive of me seeing one I just think she underestimates the issues I’ve got to discuss. There are a few issues in the relationship but most of the really negative stuff in our relationship is from the beginning of last year and hasn’t reoccurred since it happened

It’s wonderful that she is supportive! Maybe try to explain her that the concept of a „safe space“ means a lot in a therapy. Zoom is difficult enough and requires more effort from both sides to create that kind of safe space. Maybe she will be more understanding if you explain that this is not so much about the topic in the session but more about an overall feeling. Talk to her! Good luck and all the best! (Plus a therapy session is about 45mins which is the length of about every episode of every show, shouldn’t be hard for her to get distracted in an episode of her favorite show.)

It shouldn’t distract the therapist. They usually have a white noise machine outside their door and would be used to it. Also, a lot of headsets and meeting apps filter out background noise. My friend and I use Google Meet for weekly chats and I can’t even hear her dog bark when they’re in the same room.

If you have an old radio, tv, computer, or some other device you can play white noise on, just put that by your door. You don’t need a special machine. I’d actually keep it inside your room so your gf can’t move it or “accidentally” turn it off.

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