Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

GivesYouBells t1_j2f5z0a wrote

I’m guessing that he’s been away for work? Or is it a long distance relationship? my bf has a very intense job and when we were living apart he would text me but sometimes wouldn’t have much time to sleep, let alone text me. I would just establish that you don’t feel like a priority to him when he doesn’t respond to you.

1

Sweet-Amoeba- t1_j2f6cpr wrote

He is visiting family and friends for the holidays because they live across the country and he hasn’t seen them in a few years. I’m totally understanding of that because my family lives in a different country and I do sometimes visit for long periods of time too. Otherwise we live close to each other and would spend time together all the time. But I’m very good with texting and he is not so much. Idk if it’s a good thing to bring it up because I don’t want him to feel like he HAS TO do it. I’m just upset that he doesn’t feel the same way I do about, you know?

1

GivesYouBells t1_j2f6qro wrote

You’re entitled to express your feelings. No one can change the way you feel, including him. You guys have a pretty significant age gap… your prefrontal cortex isn’t even fully formed yet, respectfully, and you’re likely pretty mature from the way you write. I definitely can relate and understand from relationships I was in when I was your age (I’m 26f). But honestly, the further you go into this relationship feeling like you shouldn’t bring up your feelings about something that bothers you is another brick in the wall between you.

2

Sweet-Amoeba- t1_j2f7b6l wrote

I know Reddit doesn’t like age gaps but we do have a very healthy dynamic and people have commented that we are great together. We are also at similar life stages. I know that maybe my perspective on communication might still change in the future since I’m still young, so I’m just asking objectively if that’s a reasonable complaint to have. I guess you’re right and I should probably bring it up anyway.

2

GivesYouBells t1_j2f7vyo wrote

It is very reasonable!!!!!!! And believe me, I’ve dated guys, 7-9 years older than me, my grandmother met my grandfather when she was 17 and he was 53, so no judgment whatsoever. Woman to woman, the hardest thing I’ve had to overcome to make my relationships successful is thinking that my feelings are not the most important thing in the relationship. His are just as important, and I think realizing you’re upset will help with the issue.

1