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She doesn’t celebrate holidays. You knew this and still scheduled a NYE party. Stop trying to change her and accept who she is and what she values. If you wanted to spend time with her tonight, you wouldn’t have planned a party.

Did you know all of this about her before you married her?

If this is important to her and she is important to you then you either stop celebrating holidays, or at least celebrating them in your home or be prepared for her to leave when you do.

The hypocrisy of following what's useful and ignoring what's not in any religion has always been a sore point with me so I do understand your frustration, but you had to have known this before you married her?

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I have some friends who perhaps are of the same religion as your wife. Did you ask her what some of her co-religionists do on holidays? Where I live they have a party the next day and it's still a lot of fun. That would have worked for you.

The bigger problem here is that you either don't know your wife all that well or you do and you just didn't respect her needs over your own social requirements. Get with the adult husband program man!