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MossValley t1_j2f54y8 wrote

It sounds like he isn't a planner. Lots of people arnt. It also sounds like he won't change since you already told him about it. But it does sound like he has other positive qualities. Does he show you he loves you in other ways?

I think being "distraught" over him not planning special outings seems a little extreme to me. But if its that important to you then maybe he's not the right guy for you.

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gcitt t1_j2fkf37 wrote

It's not just about the planning. She expressed that she was unhappy, he promised to do something about it, and then he didn't. You don't have to be a big planner to ask your partner out to the movies or Google a new sex position.

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Worldexplorer_ OP t1_j2f5d70 wrote

It’s very important to me. And I think that’s it. That he isn’t a planner. But that’s what’s confusing to me… how do I care less about those things? They’re SUPER important to me. Especially in the beginning of a relationship & I never got it.

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MossValley t1_j2f8xdq wrote

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. It sounds like planning is a strength for you. That's great! What are his strengths? Do they make up for his weaknesses?

I really enjoy planning and getting to pick out what my partner and I do. My current bf will plan too but I actually prefer to do the planning. I've been in relationships where guys would make extravagant plans... it was nice but I found if a guy did that early on they were often just trying to impress and their true shitty natures came out later on. Love bombing is actually a really common thing... The extravagant planners in my past turned out to be liers, cheaters and abusers...

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Worldexplorer_ OP t1_j2fuoou wrote

I don’t even need anything extravagant. I’d be ok with a handwritten note or a homecooked meal or even takeout. As long as it’s special. And ive told him that. He just says he doesnt know how.

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