How do I stop being unreasonably upset at my girlfriends new haircut?

Submitted by Icarus755 t3_z95sdj in relationship_advice

I know this sounds awful but my girlfriend (19F) got a haircut and I (18M) hate it. I loved her hair before and looking at it now legitimately just makes me want to cry. The thing is that she really loves it. I want her to be happy with the way she looks. I have told her that I personally prefered the old one but she should do what makes her happy and I'd never ask her to change it just for me. I don't want to be an asshole and complain when she is obviously happy but I can't help but hate it.

I know this is ridiculous and entirely unreasonable but I can't get over this. I'm never getting used to it. It's been like two months and I still think about it every time I see her and I still hate it. I have actually cried on a few occasions, when I was alone obviously. I can't believe I'm having such strong feelings about something so dumb and inconsequential. How do I stop being so upset about a stupid haircut?

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Spaniardman40 t1_iyf7uez wrote

I get not liking, or even hating your girl's hair cut, but crying alone about it? How fucked up is the hair cut? Did she shave half her head off and painted the rest purple or something?

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bellePunk t1_iyf4tts wrote

That you are crying over someone else's haircut is extremely weird. Do you often flip out about changes that don't affect you?

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Icarus755 OP t1_iyf5jr2 wrote

I know it's riduculous. That's why I want to put an end to this. And honestly yes, I do get unreasonably upset at things sometimes but I recognise that it's weird and keep it to myself. I hate that I'm like this and I just want to be a normal fucking person.

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bellePunk t1_iyf68sw wrote

Have you ever worked with a therapist to put things into perspective? It could help you to learn to dismiss thoughts about things that don't affect you and aren't helpful to you.

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e_vil_ginger t1_iyf4ttl wrote

Cried? Really? What are we talking here, long hair to shoulders or a full on half pink half blue half shaved weed wacked nightmare? .... Still nothing to cry over. Get your shit together because life is going to get a lot harder and uncomfortable than a gfs haircut. You have clearly never struggled with anything before if this upsets you that much.

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Icarus755 OP t1_iyf5osp wrote

Yes that is kind of what I was asking. How do I get my shit together? I hate being like this.

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CrazyCatLadyForEva t1_iyfa026 wrote

I think it may not be about the haircut but about change in general. Could that be true?

Yes, crying over this is extreme, but I don’t think it has anything to do with manliness, like this other commenter suggests. It does sound like there is a deeper rooted issue that needs to be addressed.

What may help is to train your brain to refocus away from the hair. So every time you think of it or look at it concentrate on other aspects of your gf that you adore. List 3-5 things in your head and focus on them. Her eyes, her lips, her laugh, her movements, the look on het face when she sees you.. As soon as you think of/see the hair, go through the list of other things and bring your focus back onto what’s more important or outweighs the haircut.

I would recommend to have a look into the actual reason for your emotional response, especially if it’s something that comes up with other issues too. Not because you should never cry, but because it’s obviously a mental strain for you and thus a burden.

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e_vil_ginger t1_iyf6cdx wrote

Toughen the fuck up. Take some martial arts classes, get a good male role model, get off the internet, go outside, I don't honestly have the answers but you have to do something because you can't stay this .... Sorry to say it but pathetic. The women in your life will sniff it out and steer clear, it's not attractive, at all.

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belzbieta t1_iyf4n0t wrote

Focus on the non superficial things you like about her. If her hair was it for you, and the only thing you liked about her to the point you're unhappy with her, move on from the relationship.

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