Boyfriend lied about how much money he makes but wants to propose ?

Submitted by Puzzledchica t3_z8vg5g in relationship_advice

My boyfriend [27m] has been talking about proposing. I love him and thought he was the perfect guy for me. Little by little I have been finding out that all men lie and that maybe he isn’t for me.

To back track- i met him online and his profile said “mechanical engineer.” I got to know later on he has self esteem issues from being cheated on and being body shamed. He treats me like a princess and makes me feel special and loved. He is very affectionate which I love, texts me all the time and gives me quality time. However, he is the type of person who falls in love too fast. He told me about his exes and the extremes he would go for them. Weirdly, they all cheated on him. So it makes me question things.

Now, we live together and i was texting my friends while he was in bed i was having back and forth conversations and my phone would ring he asks me to see my phone and bc i said no, he stached it from my hands. I got so angry. He went over it and saw i had nothing going on. He apologized and i didnt speak to him for a whole day.

Yesterday, i came upon his offer letter from his job(Tesla) while i was cleaning it said he was a production something and makes $21 an hour thats less than what i make. Yet, his rent is$1700. Which idk how he affords. He has an american express unlimited credit card. So i am lost! I asked him to explain and he said he was making more because he got promoted when asked to see his paycheck he showed me his last one which was $2000 biweekly. I asked to see another one and his other one from the two weeks before was $1200. I asked what about the months before and he wouldn’t show me. He doesn’t show me at all but yet wants to get married and have kids. I told him i needed time to think now, i feel like i really don’t want to. He does pay all bills and by groceries so anyways, its not bad. I just feel weird that he lied and can’t prove anything to me. I am so lost and havent been talking to him.

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PoorCorrelation t1_iydjapz wrote

What’s his engineering degree in? It’s not unusual for companies to have weird domain-specific engineering titles and for people to refer to themselves as a more general engineer. Was it production engineer on the title? Pay’s still suspicious if that’s gross or net without really high deductions set.

The phone grabbing’s more disturbing to me. How long have y’all been dating? Also no, not all men lie and you should shoot for better for yourself

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bellePunk t1_iydl5hs wrote

The phone snatching is a red flag for sure! I absolutely would not tolerate that bullshit.
He is obviously lying about his job title and income to make himself feel better. That kind of insecurity is a major red flag! And the fact that he is talking about marriage and children when he can't even be honest about his job is a sign that he's trying to trick you into getting stuck in this relationship before you know the truth about him.

You should gently confront him, tell him that if he wants a future with you he needs to stop lying and build a relationship with honesty and trust. Give him a little time to figure out if he can do that and be ready to leave if he doesn't.

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