Am I crazy to think it could work with my manager?

Submitted by emoshscottishmum t3_z95xh3 in relationship_advice

I am completely new to Reddit so I hope I’m doing this right.

I don’t even know where to start, I (25f) have been talking to my manger (28f) for about a month now flirting back and forth and we’ve met up 3 times outside of work. It started when she found me on bumble about a month ago and told me a few days after and made it clear she wanted to chat to me in a flirty way, I was on board as I’d secretly been crushing on her and flirting for months. After about 2 weeks of talking I gave her a lift after work and she confessed a lot of things to me about her liking me for a while, that she’d been hoping I liked girls (I should put in here she just left a straight relationship and has came out gay to a few friends and I’m not out to many people either) since then we’ve been on 2 ‘dates’. It’s so complicated as she is my manager and is worried what’s going to happen when we tell the work as there is no policy on it but there will probably have to be some changes. I really like her and she’s making me happy and excited to be who I am and be true to myself and others about my sexuality but it’s so difficult being at work and not being able to flirt and be very chill, it’s messing with my head that when I see her in work it’s like there’s nothing there, when we’ve seen each other at the weekends I feel like I’m in a dream I’m so happy, we’re very open with each other and talk about feelings which is so new to the both of us from only having relationships with men. I am a mum (5yoM) and that makes things hard too but am I crazy to be hoping for this to become something? to be thinking about the future? To be getting strong feelings for my newly out manager?

1

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

lil-peanutbutter t1_iyf52qu wrote

Don’t! Mix! Business! And! Pleasure! It just won’t work out and will cause so many issues at work that neither of you should want to deal with. Have a line drawn that you don’t cross and at most just be friends but nothing else.

3

Livehardandfree t1_iyf5bq5 wrote

Regardless of anything take things very very slow. When kids are involved especially a young mind bringing other adults in and out several times during a childhood is not ideal.

So if this does work out great! But keep your kid away for quite awhile until you are sure it's permanent. And no don't even bring her around as a friend.

2

emoshscottishmum OP t1_iyf5zqr wrote

Makes it very complicated as I work in childcare and although neither of us look after my son at work he does attend an after school club at the same company and he does know her from the handful of times she’s covered for staff

2

Livehardandfree t1_iyf6g8o wrote

That's completely fair and totally fine. Just be careful in this area. Dating is so tricky with kids so just be super aware. And I had partners who just weren't that patient sadly and it's like look I want to fall in love and find my person but not sacrificing my kids mental health ya know?

1

emoshscottishmum OP t1_iyf6y6n wrote

Yeah I totally get that especially cause it’s a masssssssive change for him not just for me to find someone for it to be a woman too, he’s only little and won’t understand yet

2

Livehardandfree t1_iyf7huu wrote

Ironically my ex wife came out lesbian so I am an expert in this 🤣. The kids handled it really well but she also found one of the most amazing partners ever. So we have a good scenario but sometimes a bad partner can cause soooo many issues. And sadly the kids can get messed up. Seen in acquaintances i know.

1

AutoModerator t1_iyf4gul wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

hound_of_ulster95 t1_iyf59go wrote

Why would you be crazy? You want happiness. She makes you happy. There's nothing wrong with that. But, I can say from my point of view..I've dated management before when I was younger. Three different times and all ended in failure for me. We were able to work together still but there was always an awkwardness after. If there's no rules preventing it. By all means, do you make you happy. Your child will adjust and love it as they grow. Just focus on being happy and healthy with your kid and hopefully soon to be girlfriend?

0

emoshscottishmum OP t1_iyf6o6h wrote

I’m mostly worried it will blow things up at work and I’ll maybe have to move departments or she seems to think she’ll get in trouble. I worry that if I get moved and I don’t see her as much things will phase out cause I’m not seeing her as much and Iv blown everything up for nothing. It sounds crazy but I’m willing to leave my job if I really came it it down the line if we where fully established so that she wouldn’t get in trouble but she wants to tell senior management now

1