I'll be honest, I don't really care how you feel in this instance. It's not about you. It's about a trait you picked in a partner and now want him to be able to be a flashlight. It just does not work that way. Kindness gets shown to the people he interacts with. That is part of his essence. The kind man is kind because he wants to be good to others. His mom is part of it, you ma'am are part of it. You do not get to pick and choose when he is kind. You do not have that kind of controller. You get to pick him or not him. That's your locust of control.