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ExpressingThoughts t1_iyemkib wrote

Reply to comment by Ok-Paramedic-6472 in Girlfriend just cussed at me for the first time by [deleted]

What she said was rude. In a relationship, I'd like it to be respectful without telling the other person off or any other forms of resentment and dismissal.

I'm confused why it escalated so quickly. Do you two get into arguments over minor things like this often?

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Ok-Paramedic-6472 t1_iyenb8e wrote

We don’t. She said she got it from me but I don’t recall saying “do whatever you want” to her, genuinely. I do tell her to do whatever will make her happier when she asks me if she should do this or do that like read this book or that book or if she should start doing this instead of this. i make sure to say it sweetly and add a term of endearment at the end. i’m thinking maybe that could’ve hurt her? but she never seemed bothered whenever i said that. if she were, i’m pretty sure she’d give me hints right away.

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ExpressingThoughts t1_iyeq911 wrote

I'd say just apologize to each other, have a discussion over what happened and what to do next time, and move on.

As for the "do whatever you want", try to say something else like, "would you feel happy if you did it?" Or "I'm glad you value my opinion. Personally I would". If you say something like "you should do what you want", it could be taken as a tad dismissive. She cares about your opinions, so she is asking you. If you put it back on her, that may make her feel like she can't engage with you as much.

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